Bad Dragon Bruce The Shark Review

Bruce The Shark

Storytime! Pull up a chair kiddos. Not into shark themed fantasy tales? Skip right down to the review portion.

I come up from underwater in a burst of energy, flinging my head back and taking a deep gasp for air. 
I spit a little bit of salt water from my mouth and shake my head attempting to get my bearings. Damn that wave had really thrown me for a loop! 
I grab the leash attached to my wrist and tug it, pulling my surfboard toward me. 
I crawl halfway onto the floating board and allow the now gentler waves to tousle me slowly. The motion is soothing and almost lulling as I bob in the ocean. 
I swing myself up onto the longboard and sigh out. 
My body is tired from a long morning of surfing, and I ultimately decide to take a nice little break. 
I begin paddling toward the small secluded beach cove. 
I walk up on shore, the waves licking at my heels and I plunk my board down on the soft white sand. 
The morning is still young, the early sunrise coloring the sky beautiful shades of pinks and oranges. 
The cove is deserted, as it always is. 
I take pride in calling this my "secret spot". It's hard to get to and involves some skilled navigating and rock climbing. But it's all worth it to be able to surf the waves here. It's all worth it to shed my bathing suit and surf nude, the way I prefer. 
To be one with the ocean and all it's beauty.
I run back to the sea and dive in, treating myself to a free swim. 
I float on the waves, staring up at the sky, moving my arms ever so slowly. 
I close my eyes for a moment, and then open them again.
As I do….I see something out of the corner of my eye, just to my right.
I sit up in the water, just in time to see a long, triangular shaped object disappear beneath the water. 
My toes can barely touch the sand as I tread, searching for whatever that thing was.
My heart is in my throat, my eyes scanning the sparkling waves in vain. 
In the back of my head I know what that was…but I don't want to believe it.
Suddenly something brushes my left ankle. 
I jump back with a startled gasp and whirl in the water. 
Then something bumps into my right side. 
I let out a small scream and search wildly in the somewhat clear water for signs of movement. 
I begin to back up, when suddenly my back collides with something solid. 
Something big.
I stiffen with fright and freeze in the water, afraid to turn around, afraid to even so much as move.
I gather al my courage and slowly, ever so slowly, turn.
I'm instantly in the shadow of something huge.
My eyes meet with a hulking shape, and slowly travel upward…only to be met by rows upon rows of pearly, razor sharp teeth.
Shark.
I scramble backward in the presence of the monster my eyes wide with fear.
He seems to get a kick out of my frightened state. 
"Easy there princess. I aint gonna hurt ya." He swoons wryly, his big toothy grin growing wider by the second. 
His eyes dance over my naked form, playful and devious, all those teeth on full display for my viewing. 
I look at him my eyes full of wonder and awe. 
I've been surfing here for years, I'd seen fins off in the distance but never had I seen a shark so unclose, and well…personal. 
His skin looked slick, almost slimy, his muscles all shimmering in the morning sun. 
His massive tail flicked through the water suddenly, creating ripples amongst the now dying waves. 
"Now what's a little lady doing out her all on her own? Don't you know the sea is dangerous? There's all sorts of things that sting, and sliver, and bite." He snaps off the last word maliciously. 
His voice makes my hair stand on end and my ear lay back. 
It's haunting and playful…and sickly delicious. 
"That is none of your business." I snap irritably. 
Damn me and my overly big mouth.
Who talks back to a shark!? A fucking shark!? 
He chuckles heartily and crosses his big arms across his slick chest. 
The laugh is throaty and jovial. 
"Well see, it is my business seeing as you are in my cove." He comes grinning wider. 
I snort and roll my eyes.
He growls a the action.
"Damn you are a feisty little one aren't you?" He says licking his lips slowly.
I shoot him a vicious glare.
"Oh you have no idea." I snarl. 
He only laughs harder.
"Well, care to let me find out you feisty little land lover?" He says gently closing the gap between us. 
I feel myself stiffen at his sudden closeness. 
I am pretty sure if he wanted to, he could damn near swallow me whole with those chompers of his. 
"Well, that depends, if I do will you let me continue to surf your cove?" I say snappily. 
He nods and throws me a playful little look, his eyebrow raised at my stubborn manner. 
"You'l have free access anytime you want. Gotta feeling after this, you'll be coming back a lot more often." He says deviously giving me a sly little wink.
I groan outwardly and shrug my shoulders.
"Fine." I agree brattily.
Before I know it, he's grabbing me and throwing me over his mighty shoulder.
I gasp and yelp in protest, but he seems not to notice.
He plunks me down on the wet sand, where the ocean licks at the land and pins me down.
His body hulks over mine like a massive shadow, his skin dripping with ocean water.
He wraps his massive hands around each of my legs and hauls me up off the earth. 
I dig my fingers into the soft sand as he gently brings my hips up off the sand and to his awaiting jaws. 
He slides his tongue over his teeth almost hungrily. 
Great he is going to eat me, I think irritably. 
Suddenly he gently spreads my legs farther and noses his massive head in-between my thighs. 
I yell out involuntarily as his huge, wet tongue slides over my hot mound. 
Before I know it he's making a meal of me, in the best possible way.
I flinch and groan against his mouth wanting more of his talents. His teeth inches from my most private are only makes the experience more exciting. 
Suddenly he retracts from me, and I sigh in protest. 
He lays me back down on the sand and as he does I catch a glimpse of his body in a full state of arousal. 
My eyes wander down between his monstrous thighs only to rest on not one, but two, massive erect shafts. 
I gulp loudly and stare open mouthed.
"You like what you see land lover?" He whispers in my ear, his teeth delicately grazing my throat.
He palms both his shafts for my viewing pleasure, stroking them in unison and uttering a low, guttural moan. 
Suddenly he grabs one shaft and presses it against my front entrance, prodding for entrance demandingly. His head pops in and I yell out as he stretches me.
He grabs the other shaft and prods it against my puckered back entrance. 
His head forces in, and I buck up against the intrusion. 
His shafts are slick and wet, providing all the lubricant I need in both entrances. 
He slowly rolls his hips forward, pushing into me with both shafts. 
I can feel both of them filling me, their girth is better than anything I could have ever imagined. 
I arch my back and scrape my nails through the soft sand, mouth open, eyes screwed shut. 
He gives me time to adjust to the new fullness, but I'm so impatient. I just want him.
I want all of him.
Now.
I push down and rock my hips fluidly, signaling I want more of him.
He grins widely and presses his palms into the sand on either side of my shoulder.
He rolls his hips forward and I let loose a breathy moan that echoes off the cliff faces that surround us. 
His body moves with all the fluid motions of the sea itself. 
I bury my face in his thick neck and inhale deeply. 
He smells like the ocean, like salt and sea and I can't get enough of it. 
I hook my heels around him and dig them into his back as he thrusts. 
His thrusts are harder now, his breaths coming in low, throaty growls. 
His chest heaves as his hips work, filling me with his thick, fat erections. 
I can feel the heat running through my belly, building between my thighs until it's burning out of control. 
I buck up in a wave of pleasure yelling out louder and louder as my orgasm pulses through me.
My walls throb around his shafts as I come, breaking around him, moaning like a porn star.
He runs his tongue down my neck and smiles against me.
"Oh I'm not done with you yet…" He whispers playfully.
After my third orgasm, I am left feeling worn beyond anything I have ever experienced. My legs shake around his hulking form, a bit of saliva rolls down my chin from where I've slobbered on myself.
Arguably I am not in attractive state. 
He's close. I can tell by his now frantic thrusts and sloppy fucking. 
I dig my fingers into his shoulder, grabbing his fin roughly.
"Come for me big boy" I whisper to him tiredly. 
He makes a sound like he's been punched in the gut and suddenly he's coming.
His ejaculation shoots into both my holes, filling me to the point of overflowing. I feel the fluid jet from my entrances, leaking out as he continues to pump me full of his finish. Finally he sags onto of me, panting tiredly. 
He slowly retracted his shafts from my body and I felt him leave me with a soft pop, followed by the feeling of my fluids leaking from me. 
I lie on the sand my chest heaving, unable to move much less access the absurdity of what had just happened. 
He flops down next to me on the sand and chuckles weakly. 
"You have my full permission to surf my cove anytime you want land lover." He breathes through his teeth, smiling widely. 
I throw him a tired glance.
"Oh, I won't be visiting this cove just for surfing anymore." I whisper grinning.
He laughs loudly.
"Guess I was right huh sweet cheeks?" He says slyly. 
THE END
_________________________________________________________________________________

Now for the much anticipated review!! Bruce the shark has been on my wish list for who knows how long! I just could not stop dreaming about the day that I would own this fantastic, beautiful, double shafted toy! I mean who else has a double shafted dildo other than Bad Dragon! But I just could not decide on what color I wanted for this gorgeous toy. Then a wild sale appeared from Bad Dragon listing some adoptions at great prices and there were three Bruce models up in the adoptions pages! As soon as I saw him, I knew I had to have him. I snatched my Bruce up along with two other toys I just had to have and boom I was a happy little dildo hoarder!
Ordering was easy as always and shipping was very speedy considering all the toys I had ordered in this batch were ready made adoptions. Adoptions are the perfect remedy for an impatient dildo collector looking for a good deal! haha! My box was shipped in about a week and was on my doorstep in two days after that. The box I received was MASSIVE!! At first I assumed this was due to the fact that I had ordered three toys, Bruce, Xar and a Dragon's Tongue…but when I ripped that box open I found I was so dead wrong. The box was massive because well…Bruce himself is MASSIVE! He took up pretty much 99% of that box! I ripped Bruce out of the packing peanuts and beheld his mighty beauty! I could not get his plastic packaging off fast enough. I had never imagined how insanely BIG he was. My eyes sparkled with love and amusement.
I genuinely feel that this was the very moment that I decided to take on the task of much, much larger toys. Holding Bruce in my hands, yes hands because I needed them both to hold this beast, feeling all that silicone and seeing all that detail magnified just had me drooling. Because of Bruce I have actually swayed toward larger toys. Smalls are a thing of the past for me these days. I love all my small babies, but larges have become my size of choice. And to think I am considered getting my first XL Bad Dragon toy in the next few days! Oh Bruce it is all thanks to you!
Now a little about my toy!
Bruce is a onesize toy, so he does not come in a range of sizes like most Bad Dragon toys do.
Here are his dimensions:
Dimensions (inches)
One Size Diameter of Head1.30
Circumference of Head4.00
Diameter of Shaft2.10
Circumference of Shaft6.25
Usable Length6.20
Total Length8.50
Diameter of Shaft (Thickest)2.60
Circumference of Shaft (Thickest)7.50
As you can tell Bruce is not a toy to sneeze at. I would say he is really not a toy suitable for beginners.
I got my Bruce in a medium firmness, and I did not choose his coloration. He sports a lovely black on his shafts and a purple and cream/sand marble on his base with bits of grey mixed in.

Oral: 5/10
I give Bruce this rating because while he does have a lot of fantastic texture, he is large and cumbersome to really preform oral on. His double shafts are a whole new thing to take on orally. I often found myself being poked in the eye by the other shaft as I attempted to please one! It got to be somewhat comical! Bruce has a huge base and he is quite heavy, not exactly the best toy for some intense oral play. But none the less he is fantastically textures and I did enjoy sucking his fins and base!

Vaginal & Anal: 10/10
I decided to review these together, because when I used Bruce for the first time, I used him anally and vaginally at the same time.
After a good wash down I found a comfortable position on my bathroom floor and pulled out my lube. I made sure to lube Bruce up nice and well, and I was able to take him without a warmup. I have found that I have an extremely stretchable vagina apparently…I put it through a lot and I am able to take some fairly large toys seeing as I have been toying for a while now and training for bigger toys. I started with just one of Bruce's shafts and began thrusting vaginally. Bruce just has this amazing curve that is just…umph, words can't even describe it! His texture is very nice, and not too overbearing. After thrusting like that for a while, I decided I wanted to try some double penetration with this mighty fella. I lubed his other shaft up and pressed it against my back entrance. Now double penetration with this toy is not as easy as it seems. It took me a couple of tries to figure out the right way to insert him in both entrances. Because of the lube he was very slick and kept sliding away from my back entrance. I am very glad I got him in a medium firmness and not a soft because I feel like soft would have been impossible to insert for double penetration! Yikes! But with a little effort and a couple of attempts I finally managed it! After a while of double thrusting and using my clitoral vibrator I was brought to one of the hardest orgasms I have ever had in my life! I was left lying there in a shark sex coma! Bruce packs one hell of a punch when it comes to dildos. If you are an experienced toyer then I cannot suggest him more!

Pros:
1. Double penetration!
2. Body Safe silicone
3. Large size toy (this is a pro for me)
4. Customizable

Cons:
1. For those not wanting to use it for anal the other shaft could get in the way
2. could be too large for some

Overall Bruce is an amazing toy from an amazing company! Get your butt on over to Bad Dragon and pick up a Bruce of your own ;)

Kelvin The Ice Dragon Review

Kelvin The Ice Dragon

So this is a special kind of review. In this review I will be reviewing not one, but two Bad Dragon toys! Mostly because I am too lazy to do two separate reviews for these toys. They are the same model, with minor differences, so I just lumped them together and decided to do a joint review. So today I have for you a review of Bad Dragon's wonderful Kelvin The Ice Dragon!! One medium packer model, and one small medium firmness, cumtube option model. These two kelvins were actually some of the first toys I ever ordered from Bad Dragon wayyyy back when. I actually picked these two "brothers" up from the same flop sale. Bad Dragon was having a flop inventory sale and I finally caved in and decided I needed some Bad Dragon toys to add to my then very small toy box. I like to think that is where this whole addiction of sex toy collecting was born. As a first time bad dragon buyer, picking which model I wanted to buy was the hardest part. I was immediately drawn to Kelvin. He had these amazing ridges and scales and a subtle knot that I just fell head over heels for. As soon as I saw him, I was sold. My first of my two Kelvin's that I picked up was my packer. The toy pictured on the left, without the cumtube. 

I have always had a thing for floppy dildos. There is just something about a nice limp, floppy penis that I cannot get enough of. I like to put floppy penises in my mouth, flop them around, squeeze them, fondle them, just all around love on them! So when I saw this Kelvin packer in a solid gorgeous red color I had to have him. Into the cart he went, and I continued shopping. While browsing along the adoptions page I stumbled not seconds later across an identical Kelvin toy, same color, except this one was in a medium firmness, and had a cumtube! He also went into my cart, and these boys were ready to come home with me. 

About my toys: 

The toy on the left was an adoption, he came with these features:

Size: Medium

Silicone Firmness: Extra Soft "packer" firmness

Color: Red

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: No

The toy on the right was also an adoption, he came with these features:

Size: Small

Silicone firmness: Medium

Color: Red

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: Yes

As always, review Bad Dragon's size charts VERY carefully before ordering a toy. Many of Bad Dragon's "smalls" are not very small at all. They can sometimes be quite monstrous. In Kelvin's case, the small should be perfect for beginners or those who are not made for bigger toys. He is a normal sized small. Here is Kelvin's size chart: 

Dimensions (inches)	Small	Medium	Large	Extra Large
Diameter of Head	1.40	1.60	2.00	2.40
Diameter of Shaft	1.20	1.40	1.80	2.00
Diameter of Knot	2.00	2.20	2.80	3.30
Usable Length	5.00	6.00	7.50	9.00
Circumference of Head	4.50	5.25	6.75	8.00
Circumference of Shaft	4.50	5.25	6.75	8.00
Circumference of Knot	6.00	7.00	9.00	10.50
Total Length	6.00	7.25	9.00	10.50

Shipping 10/10

Since both kelvins were purchased at the same time, they arrived in one neatly packed box together. Bad dragon's packaging was discreet as usual in their normal brown cardboard box, packed with a mountain of packing peanuts inside! And because these boys were ready made toys they were shipped out to me within three days of ordering, then arrived three days later on my front doorstep. 

Oral use: Kelvin Packer 10/10

The reason I bought my Kelvin packer is because I wanted him for oral use. Packers, or toys in extra soft are normally not good for insertion, and in my Kelvin's case I have never been able too insert him. He is simply TOO squishy. But that is ok, I purchased him knowing this fact. Now for those who don't understand the packer firmness I could see where this could be very disappointing to order a toy and not be able to insert it!! Packer firmness is VERY SOFT. Imagine a marshmallow. Its about like that. Try inserting a marshmallow into any hole other than your mouth…yeah, thats difficult. But that aside, my Kelvin packer was bought with the understanding of this. I just wanted a nice floppy dildo that I could slap all over, play with orally, and that my fiancé could use on me as a punishing spanking tool. Packer's make for great floggers. Just FYI. Bry highly enjoys slapping me with floppy Kelvin when I misbehave as he gets to play the roll of Dom. Normally I am Dom, but hey I let him play the roll sometimes. Gotta share right? can't hog the Dom position ALL the time. C'mon now that is just selfish. Orally Kelvin is wonderful, everything I imagined I'd be getting when I ordered him! He's so soft to swirl my tongue around and pop him in and out of my mouth. I love the way he feels on my tongue, and his shape makes him super easy to deep throat. His ridges are very nice stimulating my tongue, and his knot, mmmm it makes me drool just thinking about sucking that knot! 

Oral Use: Small Kelvin with Cumtube 8/10

Even though these two toys are the same model, they are very different. Such a small thing as size and silicone firmness completely changes a toy. My Small kelvin is a lot firmer than my packer kelvin, making his ridges much more intense orally, and a lot less squishy and wonderful. Kelvin's cumtube feature makes oral…a little awkward for me. That tube just gets everywhere when I'm trying to get into tonguing him down. He is much smaller than my kelvin packer, so I'm not able to get him as far down my throat as my packer, but he's still an enjoyable oral partner all the same! 

Vaginal Use: Kelvin Packer N/A

Because my Kelvin is indeed a packer, or female firmness toy, he is too soft for me to actually insert him. He is used for oral, and bondage situations only. I also enjoy putting him in a female harness and letting him flop around for some fantasy play. 

Vaginal Use: Small Kelvin with Cumtube 7/10

My small kelvin happens to be the very first Bad Dragon toy I ever purchased with a cumtube! So he was a completely new adventure for me. At first I was a little disappointed with it quite honestly. I couldn't really figure out how to get him to "shoot" cum, and not just ooze it out. This actually still eludes me with this toy. I have tried deluding the lube a little with water and that seems to help slightly, but still most often Kelvin just tends to ooze, and nor really shoot. Its really just become part of his personality and now that I have grown to love him, this doesn't really bother me. Kelvin is a great toy to use vaginally. As soon as I got him out of the box I had to try him out. Kelvin is a size small, and for Bad Dragon he is a pretty small, small. He's excellent for those who cannot handle larger toys, or beginners! If you want something with some radical scales and a nice subtle knot, but you aren't exactly a size queen, small kelvin is the toy for you! I really enjoyed the fact that I did not have to warm up to him like I have to do for some of my other, much larger toys. He's one of those toys that you just pull out, and ride away! There are a few factors that cause me to score the small kelvin the way I have. 1. He is a great size for beginners, and when I first obtained him he was a great size for me, but now I have moved up to prefer much, much larger toys, so Kelvin sort of falls short now to some of my other beastly toys. I suppose you could say I have out grown the little fella! Though i still sometimes grab for him when I want some easy, cumtube fun. Also I love the cumtube feature, but when really getting into it with such a small toy, the large cumtube can become…cumbersome. With some of my larger toys that have cumtubes this really isn't a problem, but I believe since Kelvin is so small, it gets in the way a lot more with him. But despite all that Kelvin is a great toy, he has a wonderful curve that hits the sweet spot just right, and his scales are perfect for a little texture, but nothing too intense! 

Anal Usage: Kelvin Packer N/A

Since Kelvin packer is too squishy for vaginal use, he's also too squishy for anal!! 

Anal Usage: Small Kelvin with Cumtube: 10/10

Now where Kelvin may have fallen short in the vaginal department with me, he certainly made up for it with anal! Kelvin's tiny size makes him perfect for me for anal toying! I may like big toys in my vagina, but I do not like them in my back door. I have an anus that simply refuses any sort of large toy. So Kelvin was a fantastic anal toy for me! His cumtube feature allowed me to pump in more lube where I needed it and since he has a nice base, he's totally anal safe. His not too pronounced ridges made for great anal thrusting, so this little fella certainly earned a spot in my heart with anal usage! 

Overall both of these toys are fantastic editions to my toy box! Bad Dragon always knows how to deliver simply the best in fantasy toys! I cannot brag on this company enough. The customizable options are simply unbeatable. If you have a hankering for a dragon, dog, monster, or horse skip on down to Bad Dragon and wrangle yourself a creature of your own! Go ahead, they don't bite…much. 

Happy toying!

-Ashes

Group shot!

It irks me to no extent that I have not had time to write many reviews lately. But I suppose that is what happens when you are a senior in college and planning a wedding all in the same breath. Oh life don't you understand that I have wonderful dong reviews to write?? 

So to fill the void between my reviews, I decided to group some of my toys together and take some nice beauty shots of them, because these boys sure do deserve it! 

I have collected a staggering number of new toys in the past couple of months, all of which will eventually have reviews up! Most of the toys photographed above do not yet have reviews because they are all new babes to the toy box! With the exception of Cole, he's an oldie who already has a review. But he's a goodie thus why I threw him into the photo! 

From left to right: 

Bad Dragon's The Royal Dragon: Size Medium/Medium firmness/ custom limited edition galaxy star color

Bad Dragon's Cole the Dane: Size medium/ medium firmness/ custom dark natural toy exclusive color

Frisky Beast's The Mechanical Animal The Classic 1.5: Size ONESIZE/ medium firmness/ custom tarnished color

Frisky Beast's The Tyrant: Size Small/ medium firmness/ custom slime color

Bad Dragon's The Waterhorse: size medium/ medium firmness/ custom natural coloration

Bad Dragon's The Dragon's Tongue: size small/ soft firmness/ adoption blue and red marble

Bad Dragon's Bruce The Shark: onesize/ medium firmness/ adoption black shafts, tan and purple marbled base

Frisky Beast's The Sauropod: size small/ medium firmness/ custom rainbow color

Bad Dragon's Nove the Breeder: size small/ medium firmness/ adoption rainbow marble

Exotic Erotics Hippocampus: size small/ medium firmness/ custom highlighter red shaft and black base 

Bad Dragon's Xar the Karabos: size small/ medium firmness/ adoption rogue purple shaft, black and red marble base

DamnAverage's Orc: onesize/ hard firmness/ adoption glow in the dark green and blue marble 

This picture can also be used as a good size comparison on some of my toys! Added many from different companies and such for that reason. These toys really range in size, and that is the most important thing to really research when purchasing a toy! Know your limits and preferences! 

Hope you enjoyed this colorful little bouquet of dongs!  

Ridley The Xenogon Review

Ridley The Xenogon 

Before I get down to the review, I wanted to share a little short story. I really like writing stories to go with some of my more favorite toys, this one is no exception. So sit back, relax, get some popcorn! Don't like stories, simply scroll down to the review kiddos! 

The moon was high in the midnight sky. It's pale glow eased down onto my body, lighting the thin trail in front of me. My shoes crunched the red dirt beneath them in a steady, smooth pace. The stars sparkled across the blue-black abyss like spilled salt. Twinkling and winking and playing in the darkness. My eyes soaked in the world at night. The trees reaching up into the night like small fingers.

It was the perfect night for stargazing. 

My pack swayed with my every movement as I climbed the lone hill. The hike was long, but the reward at the end was so worth it. I had been away from these hills for far too long. I was pleased to be back to visit. 

An owl cries out in the darkness, hollow and lonely, the sound kisses my ears like a swift whisper. Finally, after a long climb, I reach the top of the hill, a small clearing at its crown, breaking away from the thin trees and scrub brush. I plop my pack into the dirt with a small thunk and unzip it. I grab my thick blanket and shake it out into its fullness, lying it down onto the smooth earth. I sighed as my body relaxed from the rigorous hike. Now for my favorite part. 

I slipped my boots from my feet, carefully, slowly, one at a time. Kicking them off to the side of my blanket. I undid the catches of my shorts and drew down the zipper slowly. I sashayed them down over my hips, bending forward leisurely. Like a strip tease for the night. I tenderly kicked my shorts aside, standing alone in my thong and low-cut shirt. I grabbed the bottom hem of my tee and peeled it up over my head. It added to the growing pile of clothing. My undergarments slipped off like butter, coming away from my body daintily. 

Absent of all clothing I stood in the presence of the stars, free and wild. The world was big and I  was small, but that only added to my admiration for it. 

I sprawled out on the large blanket, body now feeling the breeze that was whispering through the trees, rustling their branches softly. My nipples pert with the chill in the wind. I sighed out lowly, breathing in the scent of the pines, the smell of the dirt…the smell of the earth. My eyes darted up to the stars, shining down on my small body, offering me their light from billions of miles away. It was such a vast, otherworldly place. It always conjured wonderings of life beyond the earth in which I existed. I wanted to believe that we were not the only ones here. There had to be something out there besides us. I chewed my lip thoughtfully and closed my eyes, but only for a moment. 

A moment turned into a minute, and a minutes turned into full on sleep. 

Suddenly theres a loud whirring sound. 

I'm shaken from sleep and snap into an upright position. My eyes fly open and I peer around me. Theres a ferocious wind whipping through the trees now, blowing them madly, and the world is bathed in a pale, bright, blue glow. Theres a haunting groaning sound reverberating through the wilderness. It's a sound I have never heard before. My pulse races, my heart thumps in my chest. What is this? What is happening? And then, just like that, it all stops. The world goes silent and the wind settles. My eyes flick around the clearing nervously. What in hells name could have caused all that!? 

Suddenly I hear the cracking of a branch to my left. My head snaps that direction, eyes wide and fearful. There is more rustling. Brush being parted by a large body. 

And then…it steps into the shadows. 

I draw in a sharp gasp as my eyes lay over its form. 

It's massive. 

At least ten feet at the shoulder. 

Eyes glisten from a face that resembles somewhat reptilian. They are blue and glowing like two coals in its head. 

My body freezes, too scared to run and too shocked to fight. 

"Do not be afraid earthling." Comes a definitely male voice.

I furrow my eyebrows together. 

Earthling? 

"Who…who are you?" I whisper shakily. 

He takes a step toward me. 

He sports large, clawed feet, thighs muscular, body ridged and toned with scales and muscle. 

"I am Ridley. I come from far away, I come to gather studies on earthlings like yourself." He muses robotically. 

I raise my eyebrows and relax a little. He doesn't seem to want to do me harm. 

The way he moves it fluent, graceful, gorgeous. 

He comes closer to me and his eyes flash with fascination. 

"What are you doing?" He asks slowly leaning down and running a claw over my shoulder. 

The touch is not menacing. 

It's…soothing. 

"Stargazing. Wondering if there could possibly be life out there…I suppose I have my answer now don't I?" I say smiling at him. 

He breaths out slowly, but doesn't return my smile. He is too transfixed with my body and my form. 

"You look…different than other earthlings I have observed…where is your…uniform?" He asks confused. 

I snicker. 

This guy needed to get out more.

"I took my clothes off. Thats how I star gaze. It's more relaxing that way." I whisper smoothly. 

I run a hand over his scaled arm and he flinches at the touch. 

I just smile at him.

"It is…it is most desirable. Seeing an earthling without…clothes." He utters hesitantly. 

I turn toward him slowly, eyes drawing up him and then back down. 

"You like what you see?" I whisper lowly. 

He nods slowly, as if not sure about the question. 

I look back down his body, he wears no clothes, nothing to hide him from other's eyes. I can see the outline of his large male anatomy in the dark. 

I grinned deviously. 

Maybe I wanted to really taste what other galaxies had to offer. 

I make a slow move toward him and his eyes are sparkling and curious. 

"You said you wanted to study earthlings. I know the best way to accomplish that, I can show you, if you would like." I whisper to him slyly. 

He meets my gaze.

"I wish to be taught…" He says his voice gruff and deep. 

I run my hand up over his massive cheek. 

I pull him in close, pushing out lips together harshly. 

He gasps at the motion and the sudden advancement, but he does not pull away. He eventually relaxes and returns the offering of affection. He does not know what to do, and so I show him. I part his lips and slip my tongue along his. He seems to understand and his longer, lither, tongue wraps around mine. He teases meanly with that tongue of his, its large and smooth and quick. He groans against me. It's a guttural sound more like a growl than anything else. It rumbles up through his chest and the vibrations coarse through me. 

I break the kiss breathlessly, ragged and already coming apart at the seams. 

I push him backward and he hits the blanket hard, large body taking up its entirety and hanging off the sides. His tight, alien abdomen is riddled with the muscles of another species. He is toned and molded by means I can only wonder about. Other galactic war? Space travels unknown. 

I run my hands over him. Exploring and touching and feeling. He sighs beneath me and his hot breath flows over me. It's thick and sweet and delicious. 

I'm on him like a bad habit. My hand runs down him slowly, taking my time to feel every inch, every ridge and every scale. 

My light fingers come to his male anatomy. His large shaft stands erect, coming forth from his sheath. I have never seen anything like it. It's just as alien as he is. I snake my fist around his girth. He's thin at the top, near his undefined head, but as I stroke downward I feel him widen out into a massive, swollen knot. Ridges and raised bumps line his sides. I am practically drooling at just the touch alone. I have to feel him inside me. 

No.

Need, to feel him inside of me. 

I retract my hand from pushing and pulling him and he watches enthralled with every movement. 

I lift my thin hips and his hands come to my waist. 

He looks at me with wonton eyes.

I am but an offering to a god of the stars. 

I lower myself upon him, hissing smally as he pushes in. He's hot, and big and wondrous. 

I let my body become used to him, sinking him in inch by inch, sliding over his knot with much effort. He groans lowly as I do so. Claws dig into my soft flesh just a little, the sting is not all unpleasant. I grit my teeth together harshly. 

And then…I begin to move. 

Rolling my hips forward, pushing him into me, starting a rhythmic glorious movement that has him moaning like a virgin. 

I can see all his teeth. 

They are white and they shine like pearls set in his jaws. 

My hands come to his chest, groping weakly, trying to find something, anything to hold onto. 

I fling my head back, bathed in the moon beams, mouth wide in a loud, shameless moan. 

He is snapping his hips up to meet my thrusts. 

Body against body.

He is so big. 

Just a massive creature of another world. 

His eyes screwed shut, breathing heavy and ragged. 

I'm thrusting faster, wanting more of him inside me, taking as much as my body can possibly handle. He's gripping tighter, breathing harder. He's clumsy and needy and handsy. 

He moans out loudly, it's more of a roar than a moan really. 

And then I'm there. 

Body coming undone, unraveling around me without my control.

I come in a wave of glorious pleasure, my muscles convulsing around him.

I'm howling like an animal.

Fingers digging into his stomach.

My body tightens and he's there too.

He thrusts up into me harshly, a guttural roar rumbling up through his teeth.

His voice echoes through the night like a freight train. 

I can feel his ejaculation inside of me. Coating me, filling me.

He thrusts into me weakly, pumping every last drop into my worn body. 

I collapse onto him, spent, unable to move another muscle. 

Before I can fight it, my eyes slide closed, and sleep takes me.

When I awaken, he is gone. 

Back into the stars from which he came. 

Alright! Now let's get down to the review kiddos! Have you ever wondered if there happened to be life out there in the stars? Well now here's your answer. There is, and he'd well endowed! Let me introduce you to an alien, that you seriously need to get to know, Ridley the Xenogon! As you all know I am a die hard Bad Dragon fan. Ever since really getting into Bad Dragon I had my eye on this handsome alien. I just couldn't get over how absolutely perfect he looked. His bumps, his ridges, his knot. Oh my. It just made it even better that he was an alien. I have a big soft spot for aliens. I mean lets talk about hot. I constantly stalk the bad dragon forums and website for sales and promotions, so when they announced a glorious Frankenpour sale I ran on over to bad dragon and filled up my cart! I just can't help but to get grabby hands when Bad Dragon has sales. And lucky for me they happened to have a gorgeous Ridley frakenpour!! He was perfect. It was love at first click. Without a second thought Ridley was mine and on my way to my house! 

Shipping of course was easy. I really love ordering ready made toys from Bad Dragon because they ship out so fast! I mean don't get me wrong, I love ordering custom toys also, but I simply adore adoptions. It's so exciting to bring fantastic colored toy home! Adoptions always have the prettiest colors. As do frakenpours. I love frankenpours. Some people are not too keen on them but I on the other hand LOVE them. No two frakenpours are alike. Each one is super unique and one of a kind and that just makes them so special. At least to me. So show those frakenpours some love! If you ever get the chance to take one home, do, you will love it. But anyway buying my Ridley was as easy as click, click and he was mine! He was shipped out in three days and was on my doorstep two days after being shipped! Came in the normal brown box, wrapped in purple tissue paper with about twenty thousand packing peanuts! 

Since my Ridley was an adoption I did not get to pick his colors! But here are the features that he came with. 

Size: Medium. I felt like the small Ridley was just a little too teenie for me therefore I opted for the medium size option. Here are the dimensions the Ridley: 

Dimensions (inches)	Small	Medium	Large	Extra Large
Diameter of Head	1.30	1.60	2.00	2.50
Diameter of Shaft	1.20	1.40	1.80	2.30
Diameter of Knot	2.00	2.40	3.00	3.75
Usable Length	5.75	7.00	8.50	10.50
Circumference of Head	4.00	4.75	6.00	7.25
Circumference of Shaft	4.00	4.75	6.00	7.25
Circumference of Knot	6.50	7.75	9.75	12.00
Total Length	7.00	8.50	10.25	12.50

Silicone Firmness: Medium

Color: Frakenpour 

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: No 

Bad Dragon specializes in making your dong wishes come true! You can get any toy in any size, or color you'd like. And Bad Dragon is always adding new toys to their page. You can even vote for designs at the Bad Dragon labs! Or submit a design of your own! Bad Dragon is incredibly user friendly and dedicated to their customers! Not really ready to drop that much money on a toy? Check out their adoptions page. Bad Dragon keeps a healthy inventory of ready made toys! They label them as flops, ready mades, and frakenpours. Those are the types of toys that usually lurk in the adoptions page. Flops are toys that have a small flaw in them, say a nick in the toy, or an air bubble. I own several flops! Just because a toy has a miniscule air bubble that can hardly be seen doesn't mean it's any less awesome than a custom toy! Also flops are usually heavily discounted. Which is awesome! So if you are in the market for a bad dragon toy for less coin, go take a trip to their adoptions page. And also keep an eye out for Bad Dragon sales. I have found Bad Dragon loves holiday sales. So every holiday cruise on over to Bad Dragon and see what kinds of deals they have going on! 

Now for the fun part! 

When I opened Ridley's neatly packed box, I pulled him out and just couldn't get over how heavy he was! This boy was nice and big! I ripped that plastic open and ran my hands over him. He was glorious. I couldn't stop running my fingers over his small bumps down his shaft. The angle of his head, the shape of his knot. Oh I had to get to know this big boy from outset space. 

Oral usage 10/10 

Ridley is a very intricate toy. Which makes him all the better for oral stimulation! He has a lot of little ridges and bumps that are just so much fun to run your tongue over. His shaft is a great size to suck on and I very much enjoy the shape of his head. I couldn't get enough of him. His base has a wonderful almost mechanical detailing to it which just really screams alien! He was wonderful when used orally. Just licking him and tasting him has me reeling to get down on him!

Vaginal usage: Seriously I'm not even going to rate this with a number because that doesn't do him justice.

This toy, is amazing. I don't even care if you don't like toys, don't like aliens, don't like sex. You'd like this. I readied myself for a nice shower date with my new alien boy. I'd been lusting after Ridley for months, and finally with him in hand I couldn't have been more excited. 

I started by gently rubbing him over my clit, readying myself to take him. I didn't really warm up so I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to take his knot. I sank down onto his shaft and right away I was in heaven. The bumps on the sides of his shaft are incredibly prominent, but they don't grab or stab, they slide. They massaged me in literally all the right ways! The slight tilt and strange shape of Ridley's head is PERFECT for G-spot stimulation. Spot on stimulation. Like he can't miss. I began grinding on him and thrusting him into me. Ridley had me in a chokehold of pleasure. I was falling to pieces before I even knew what happened! I was aroused enough to take most of his knot first try without any warmup! Now that my friends is really saying something. This toy is amazing. As soon as I lowered down off my orgasm I knew that this baby had just earned his keep in my toy box. This alien doesn't kid around. 

Anal usage n/a

I have not used Ridley anally yet, but because of his base he is indeed anal safe kiddos! 

Overall evaluation: 

Ridley is a great toy. His design is perfect, and Bad Dragon really outdid themselves with this one. He's great for those who love knots and he's even great for those who don't! His shaft is long enough to be pleasurable without even touching the knot! 

I would recommend this toy to beginners and pros alike! To those who like textures and great details! So do yourself a big, big, BIG favor and go bring a Xenogon home today!! 

Pros:

1. Great texture

2. Amazing details

3. Made of silicone, making him body safe, non porous, and easy to clean! 

4. Perfect curve for a woman's G-Spot

5. Great for those who like knots and for those who don't. 

Con's:

1. My Ridley is a medium, this may be too large for some, but he comes in every size so I guess this really isn't a con!

2. Alien like, could be a turn off for some

Go check out Bad Dragon and all their wonderful customizable toys!