Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Bad Dragon Bruce The Shark Review

Bruce The Shark

Storytime! Pull up a chair kiddos. Not into shark themed fantasy tales? Skip right down to the review portion.

I come up from underwater in a burst of energy, flinging my head back and taking a deep gasp for air. 
I spit a little bit of salt water from my mouth and shake my head attempting to get my bearings. Damn that wave had really thrown me for a loop! 
I grab the leash attached to my wrist and tug it, pulling my surfboard toward me. 
I crawl halfway onto the floating board and allow the now gentler waves to tousle me slowly. The motion is soothing and almost lulling as I bob in the ocean. 
I swing myself up onto the longboard and sigh out. 
My body is tired from a long morning of surfing, and I ultimately decide to take a nice little break. 
I begin paddling toward the small secluded beach cove. 
I walk up on shore, the waves licking at my heels and I plunk my board down on the soft white sand. 
The morning is still young, the early sunrise coloring the sky beautiful shades of pinks and oranges. 
The cove is deserted, as it always is. 
I take pride in calling this my "secret spot". It's hard to get to and involves some skilled navigating and rock climbing. But it's all worth it to be able to surf the waves here. It's all worth it to shed my bathing suit and surf nude, the way I prefer. 
To be one with the ocean and all it's beauty.
I run back to the sea and dive in, treating myself to a free swim. 
I float on the waves, staring up at the sky, moving my arms ever so slowly. 
I close my eyes for a moment, and then open them again.
As I do….I see something out of the corner of my eye, just to my right.
I sit up in the water, just in time to see a long, triangular shaped object disappear beneath the water. 
My toes can barely touch the sand as I tread, searching for whatever that thing was.
My heart is in my throat, my eyes scanning the sparkling waves in vain. 
In the back of my head I know what that was…but I don't want to believe it.
Suddenly something brushes my left ankle. 
I jump back with a startled gasp and whirl in the water. 
Then something bumps into my right side. 
I let out a small scream and search wildly in the somewhat clear water for signs of movement. 
I begin to back up, when suddenly my back collides with something solid. 
Something big.
I stiffen with fright and freeze in the water, afraid to turn around, afraid to even so much as move.
I gather al my courage and slowly, ever so slowly, turn.
I'm instantly in the shadow of something huge.
My eyes meet with a hulking shape, and slowly travel upward…only to be met by rows upon rows of pearly, razor sharp teeth.
Shark.
I scramble backward in the presence of the monster my eyes wide with fear.
He seems to get a kick out of my frightened state. 
"Easy there princess. I aint gonna hurt ya." He swoons wryly, his big toothy grin growing wider by the second. 
His eyes dance over my naked form, playful and devious, all those teeth on full display for my viewing. 
I look at him my eyes full of wonder and awe. 
I've been surfing here for years, I'd seen fins off in the distance but never had I seen a shark so unclose, and well…personal. 
His skin looked slick, almost slimy, his muscles all shimmering in the morning sun. 
His massive tail flicked through the water suddenly, creating ripples amongst the now dying waves. 
"Now what's a little lady doing out her all on her own? Don't you know the sea is dangerous? There's all sorts of things that sting, and sliver, and bite." He snaps off the last word maliciously. 
His voice makes my hair stand on end and my ear lay back. 
It's haunting and playful…and sickly delicious. 
"That is none of your business." I snap irritably. 
Damn me and my overly big mouth.
Who talks back to a shark!? A fucking shark!? 
He chuckles heartily and crosses his big arms across his slick chest. 
The laugh is throaty and jovial. 
"Well see, it is my business seeing as you are in my cove." He comes grinning wider. 
I snort and roll my eyes.
He growls a the action.
"Damn you are a feisty little one aren't you?" He says licking his lips slowly.
I shoot him a vicious glare.
"Oh you have no idea." I snarl. 
He only laughs harder.
"Well, care to let me find out you feisty little land lover?" He says gently closing the gap between us. 
I feel myself stiffen at his sudden closeness. 
I am pretty sure if he wanted to, he could damn near swallow me whole with those chompers of his. 
"Well, that depends, if I do will you let me continue to surf your cove?" I say snappily. 
He nods and throws me a playful little look, his eyebrow raised at my stubborn manner. 
"You'l have free access anytime you want. Gotta feeling after this, you'll be coming back a lot more often." He says deviously giving me a sly little wink.
I groan outwardly and shrug my shoulders.
"Fine." I agree brattily.
Before I know it, he's grabbing me and throwing me over his mighty shoulder.
I gasp and yelp in protest, but he seems not to notice.
He plunks me down on the wet sand, where the ocean licks at the land and pins me down.
His body hulks over mine like a massive shadow, his skin dripping with ocean water.
He wraps his massive hands around each of my legs and hauls me up off the earth. 
I dig my fingers into the soft sand as he gently brings my hips up off the sand and to his awaiting jaws. 
He slides his tongue over his teeth almost hungrily. 
Great he is going to eat me, I think irritably. 
Suddenly he gently spreads my legs farther and noses his massive head in-between my thighs. 
I yell out involuntarily as his huge, wet tongue slides over my hot mound. 
Before I know it he's making a meal of me, in the best possible way.
I flinch and groan against his mouth wanting more of his talents. His teeth inches from my most private are only makes the experience more exciting. 
Suddenly he retracts from me, and I sigh in protest. 
He lays me back down on the sand and as he does I catch a glimpse of his body in a full state of arousal. 
My eyes wander down between his monstrous thighs only to rest on not one, but two, massive erect shafts. 
I gulp loudly and stare open mouthed.
"You like what you see land lover?" He whispers in my ear, his teeth delicately grazing my throat.
He palms both his shafts for my viewing pleasure, stroking them in unison and uttering a low, guttural moan. 
Suddenly he grabs one shaft and presses it against my front entrance, prodding for entrance demandingly. His head pops in and I yell out as he stretches me.
He grabs the other shaft and prods it against my puckered back entrance. 
His head forces in, and I buck up against the intrusion. 
His shafts are slick and wet, providing all the lubricant I need in both entrances. 
He slowly rolls his hips forward, pushing into me with both shafts. 
I can feel both of them filling me, their girth is better than anything I could have ever imagined. 
I arch my back and scrape my nails through the soft sand, mouth open, eyes screwed shut. 
He gives me time to adjust to the new fullness, but I'm so impatient. I just want him.
I want all of him.
Now.
I push down and rock my hips fluidly, signaling I want more of him.
He grins widely and presses his palms into the sand on either side of my shoulder.
He rolls his hips forward and I let loose a breathy moan that echoes off the cliff faces that surround us. 
His body moves with all the fluid motions of the sea itself. 
I bury my face in his thick neck and inhale deeply. 
He smells like the ocean, like salt and sea and I can't get enough of it. 
I hook my heels around him and dig them into his back as he thrusts. 
His thrusts are harder now, his breaths coming in low, throaty growls. 
His chest heaves as his hips work, filling me with his thick, fat erections. 
I can feel the heat running through my belly, building between my thighs until it's burning out of control. 
I buck up in a wave of pleasure yelling out louder and louder as my orgasm pulses through me.
My walls throb around his shafts as I come, breaking around him, moaning like a porn star.
He runs his tongue down my neck and smiles against me.
"Oh I'm not done with you yet…" He whispers playfully.
After my third orgasm, I am left feeling worn beyond anything I have ever experienced. My legs shake around his hulking form, a bit of saliva rolls down my chin from where I've slobbered on myself.
Arguably I am not in attractive state. 
He's close. I can tell by his now frantic thrusts and sloppy fucking. 
I dig my fingers into his shoulder, grabbing his fin roughly.
"Come for me big boy" I whisper to him tiredly. 
He makes a sound like he's been punched in the gut and suddenly he's coming.
His ejaculation shoots into both my holes, filling me to the point of overflowing. I feel the fluid jet from my entrances, leaking out as he continues to pump me full of his finish. Finally he sags onto of me, panting tiredly. 
He slowly retracted his shafts from my body and I felt him leave me with a soft pop, followed by the feeling of my fluids leaking from me. 
I lie on the sand my chest heaving, unable to move much less access the absurdity of what had just happened. 
He flops down next to me on the sand and chuckles weakly. 
"You have my full permission to surf my cove anytime you want land lover." He breathes through his teeth, smiling widely. 
I throw him a tired glance.
"Oh, I won't be visiting this cove just for surfing anymore." I whisper grinning.
He laughs loudly.
"Guess I was right huh sweet cheeks?" He says slyly. 
THE END
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Now for the much anticipated review!! Bruce the shark has been on my wish list for who knows how long! I just could not stop dreaming about the day that I would own this fantastic, beautiful, double shafted toy! I mean who else has a double shafted dildo other than Bad Dragon! But I just could not decide on what color I wanted for this gorgeous toy. Then a wild sale appeared from Bad Dragon listing some adoptions at great prices and there were three Bruce models up in the adoptions pages! As soon as I saw him, I knew I had to have him. I snatched my Bruce up along with two other toys I just had to have and boom I was a happy little dildo hoarder!
Ordering was easy as always and shipping was very speedy considering all the toys I had ordered in this batch were ready made adoptions. Adoptions are the perfect remedy for an impatient dildo collector looking for a good deal! haha! My box was shipped in about a week and was on my doorstep in two days after that. The box I received was MASSIVE!! At first I assumed this was due to the fact that I had ordered three toys, Bruce, Xar and a Dragon's Tongue…but when I ripped that box open I found I was so dead wrong. The box was massive because well…Bruce himself is MASSIVE! He took up pretty much 99% of that box! I ripped Bruce out of the packing peanuts and beheld his mighty beauty! I could not get his plastic packaging off fast enough. I had never imagined how insanely BIG he was. My eyes sparkled with love and amusement.
I genuinely feel that this was the very moment that I decided to take on the task of much, much larger toys. Holding Bruce in my hands, yes hands because I needed them both to hold this beast, feeling all that silicone and seeing all that detail magnified just had me drooling. Because of Bruce I have actually swayed toward larger toys. Smalls are a thing of the past for me these days. I love all my small babies, but larges have become my size of choice. And to think I am considered getting my first XL Bad Dragon toy in the next few days! Oh Bruce it is all thanks to you!
Now a little about my toy!
Bruce is a onesize toy, so he does not come in a range of sizes like most Bad Dragon toys do.
Here are his dimensions:
Dimensions (inches)
One Size Diameter of Head1.30
Circumference of Head4.00
Diameter of Shaft2.10
Circumference of Shaft6.25
Usable Length6.20
Total Length8.50
Diameter of Shaft (Thickest)2.60
Circumference of Shaft (Thickest)7.50
As you can tell Bruce is not a toy to sneeze at. I would say he is really not a toy suitable for beginners.
I got my Bruce in a medium firmness, and I did not choose his coloration. He sports a lovely black on his shafts and a purple and cream/sand marble on his base with bits of grey mixed in.

Oral: 5/10
I give Bruce this rating because while he does have a lot of fantastic texture, he is large and cumbersome to really preform oral on. His double shafts are a whole new thing to take on orally. I often found myself being poked in the eye by the other shaft as I attempted to please one! It got to be somewhat comical! Bruce has a huge base and he is quite heavy, not exactly the best toy for some intense oral play. But none the less he is fantastically textures and I did enjoy sucking his fins and base!

Vaginal & Anal: 10/10
I decided to review these together, because when I used Bruce for the first time, I used him anally and vaginally at the same time.
After a good wash down I found a comfortable position on my bathroom floor and pulled out my lube. I made sure to lube Bruce up nice and well, and I was able to take him without a warmup. I have found that I have an extremely stretchable vagina apparently…I put it through a lot and I am able to take some fairly large toys seeing as I have been toying for a while now and training for bigger toys. I started with just one of Bruce's shafts and began thrusting vaginally. Bruce just has this amazing curve that is just…umph, words can't even describe it! His texture is very nice, and not too overbearing. After thrusting like that for a while, I decided I wanted to try some double penetration with this mighty fella. I lubed his other shaft up and pressed it against my back entrance. Now double penetration with this toy is not as easy as it seems. It took me a couple of tries to figure out the right way to insert him in both entrances. Because of the lube he was very slick and kept sliding away from my back entrance. I am very glad I got him in a medium firmness and not a soft because I feel like soft would have been impossible to insert for double penetration! Yikes! But with a little effort and a couple of attempts I finally managed it! After a while of double thrusting and using my clitoral vibrator I was brought to one of the hardest orgasms I have ever had in my life! I was left lying there in a shark sex coma! Bruce packs one hell of a punch when it comes to dildos. If you are an experienced toyer then I cannot suggest him more!

Pros:
1. Double penetration!
2. Body Safe silicone
3. Large size toy (this is a pro for me)
4. Customizable

Cons:
1. For those not wanting to use it for anal the other shaft could get in the way
2. could be too large for some

Overall Bruce is an amazing toy from an amazing company! Get your butt on over to Bad Dragon and pick up a Bruce of your own ;)