Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Review

Frankenstein

"It's a dark stormy night. The wind howls outside with animalistic ferocity. The house groans and creaks with as the storm pushes it and pulls it. You pull the covers over your head. Who knows what kind's of monsters could be lurking around on a night like this?? Lightening cracks across the sky, and you sit straight up in bed. Your heart is racing, was that a shadow you saw? Another crack of lighting illuminates the room, and you see it. A looming figure stands in the middle of your bedroom. You feel yourself go white with fear. You hear it cross the room, heavy hard footsteps on the wooden floor. Whatever it is…it's big. You feel the mattress dip as it slowly puts it's weight on the springs. You scoot back against the wall shaking. Suddenly it grabs your wrist. Another flash of lighting gains you a sneak peak of this…this…monster? A warm grin greets you, friendly eyes take you in. His handsome face is only flawed by the large staples and stitches holding him together. And did you happen to see bolts on his neck? He pulls you closer, his strength overcoming you with little effort. You rest your hand on his leg to steady yourself…oh wait…that isn't his…leg. The lighting comes again, and you find yourself nearly face to face with the most monstrous male appendage that you have ever seen. He notices your shock and simply growls in response. You've suddenly got a monster in your bed…and you realize that it is going to be one electrifying night."

Let me introduce you to the master of my toy box, my favorite of the favorites! My king of all the other toys…Frankenstein, or Franky as I adoringly refer to him. It's only so often that a girl comes across a toy as special as this. A toy that just makes you say, if I could only pick one toy, I would pick this one and ride off into the sunset with it. Right now my favorites consist of my Flint, Cody and Franky. But Franky just has a special place in my heart. I'll let you in on a little secret, I have always thought Frankenstein was just the sexiest monster alive. Ever since I was young my favorite movie monsters were the WolfMan because werewolves were cool and I wanted to be one, and Frankenstein because he was hot and I wanted to do the dirtiest of things to him. So my favoritism of this toy stems from a very deep rooted obsession with Frankenstein. I mean a big hunk of pieced back together parts shocked back to life with strength beyond a man and powers beyond this world! I just couldn't resist a big green monster of a man with gnarly stitches and staples and metal parts all over! Gah it doesn't get much better than that. So while I was doing my usual cruise of the internet one day I stumbled across a post talking about movie monster themed dildos, and I had to check it out. 

And so, I found them. 

Made by Fleshlight, Fleshlight Freaks is a line of  monster penetrable toys that come with their matching dildo counterparts! There are five different toys to choose from, Frankenstein, Zombie, Dracula, Alien, or Cyborg! So naturally I had to take a couple home, and I ended up purchasing both Frankenstein and the Zombie. I just couldn't help myself. And so I anxiously awaited the day that I would have monster's at my doorstep. And surprisingly in just two days I did! I get so used to my normally long wait times with the companies i usually buy from that I forget how quickly big companies ship their stuff out! 

The actual dildo's and their original packages were packaged in a large, discreet brown box. Once I opened that though, I was greeted by two highly decorative packages decked out in movie monster graphics. As soon as I pulled out both boxes It was immediately apparent how much larger my Franky was than the Zombie. His box was nearly twice the size of his counterpart! I flipped over Fanky's box and admired him through the plastic window. It was monster sized love. 

But being almost the length of my forearm and almost as thick around..I knew this big boy was going to be a challenge. The type of challenge that always makes me drool. 

The Fleshlight Freaks series is completely non-customizable and comes exactly as it is online. Where as this would most days be a  turnoff for me, with these toys they are perfect as is. I'm just spoiled with the customizable options of Bad Dragon, Exotic Erotics, Frisky Beast ect. Franky is made of pure medical grade silicone which is fantastic!! But the silicone that he and the rest of the toys in the series are cast in is much much firmer than any of my other toys. The firmness of silicone is very hard, even harder than Bad Dragon's hard firmness. So be prepared for a very firm toy!!! 

Now onto the review! 

Oral Usage: 10/10

When I got his box open, I just could not get over how gorgeously detailed this boy is. His shaft, head and balls are all a wonderland of sculpted detail! Many amazing stitches, staples and bolts run down his shaft. Tears and metal parts showing through his delicious green skin. I was in a state of bliss when I finally got around to trying him out for a nice toying session. He is one of the more "human" shaped toys that I own and varies from my normal dragon, canine, alien, or horse. But this makes him all the more special. I greatly enjoy the human aspect and yet there is still that fantasy spice to him. I love his massive swollen glans and love running my tongue up his slit. Even the detail of the pulled back skin just beneath his head is apparent and well done. Every little inch of him has something new to find and explore. I must have had a good hour long oral session with my new big boy. I could not get over his amazing length, he even put my longest toy Cody to shame. And oh this boy and his balls! Gah I couldn't stop obsessing and swooning over his huge, fat set of balls. They were so thick and heavy and round, with realistic wrinkles running over them, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced! He even has these two adorable bolts sticking out of either side of the base of his shaft! I was in monster heaven! For those that like oral play, oh is this ever the toy for you. The visual details and the texture just make it an oral dream! I just lost myself in the fantasies that I was giving head to Frankenstein, almost able to hear him grunting in pleasure! 

Vaginal Usage: 10/10

I serious cannot even begin to explain how much I love this toy. If I could make a shrine for him and display him in my living room at all times, I would. But my fiancés parents might think that is just a little weird haha! Too bad, because a toy like this deserves to be shown off. His detail just gets better and better every time that I look at him. His coloration is simply perfect for a Frankenstein monster's skin. His deep green color with metallic green highlights just creates these shadows and depth that I have never before seen on a toy. He has texture, but nothing too extreme. After my oral session with Franky I was aching with need. I had to have this big monster inside of me asap! I rubbed Franky's shaft against my nether regions, letting his stitches create an amazing external stimulation. I lost myself in fantasies of my monstrous Franky getting ready to make me his. Once I felt I was good and ready I slathered Franky down with lube and gently pushed his head into me, I immediately knew that this was going to be a ride to remember. Just his head alone began to stretch me pleasingly. I sat there, letting my body adjust, just taking his head into me, as if he were gently prodding me, a monster attempting to be gentle with his human lover. Ever so slowly I began to lower myself down onto him, my body taking more and more of his massive shaft feeling every stitch and every bolt as I did so. I sighed with pleasure as he sheathed himself within me. I looked down and pleasingly saw that I had taken well over half of him into me, which I felt was a big deal considering his ridiculous length! After a few moments of letting myself stretch to him and get used to the intrusion…be began to slowly thrust. Short shallow trusts at first, then slowly they gathered speed as my body begged for more. It pushed me to thrust faster and harder, wanting this monster to own me, to give me everything that he could offer. I found my legs shaking and my body flushed with pleasure. The feeling of him inside me was unlike anything I could have imagined. I could feel the pleasure building in my gut, a twisting knot of burning ecstasy. His girth provided pressure to all the right spots deep inside of me and literally had me soaking wet. As I continued to thrust him into me I knew I would not last long, not with this hunk of a monster making me fall to pieces in pleasure! Before I knew it Franky had me unwinding, unraveling in pleasure. I was moaning his name and squirming as I rode it out, his shaft still pleasingly nestled within my body. This monster had not disappointed. I sat for a while just holding him within me, not wanting to let go of the glorious feeling of fullness. I knew right there and then that me and Franky had a spark that could not be ignored. I could not deny my intense feelings for this hunk of a monster! 

I was hooked. Franky is the perfect thrusting toy. Since he has a very straight shaft it makes it perfect for thrusting in and out as fast and hard as you please! And although he does not come with a suction cup, his base is so large and heavy he really stays in one place even through intense thrusting. 

Anal Usage: N/A

I have not used Franky anally, and I do not really think I will. Franky is a little above what I prefer for anal sex girth wise! 

All around Franky is at the top of his class when it comes to fantasy toys!! It is not often that you see movie monster themed dildos, and as far as I know this series is one of the only ones available! So are you an avid old school scary movie fanatic? Well maybe just watching Franky on screen isn't enough, I think you need to take this big bad monster boys home with you! He surely will not disappoint! He's got nuts and bolts in all the right places! 

So go check out the entire lineup of Fleshlight Freaks fantasy dildos and take a monster home with you today! 

Happy toying!-Ashes 

Bad Dragon's Flint the Uncut Studded Dragon Review

Flint the Uncut Studded Dragon

Story-time!! Don't like stories? Skip to the review. Like stories? Come, sit, read! 
"I'm sitting on the couch, my hair done up in a messy bun sporting my lazy day attire, a college T-Shirt and some Hollister shorts. It's a hot Texas summer day, and having slept in way later than I should have I am now trying to catch up on art commissions. My pencil scribbles across the pages of my already almost full sketchbook, sketching here, some shading there, erasing and then drawing again. The daily routine for a freelance artist. Investigation Discovery drones in the background. 
When suddenly…KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! 
The loud rapping on the front door nearly makes me jump out of my shorts and causes me to drop my pencil. 
I peer at the clock. 
Now who in the right mind is out in the heat of the day!? It's 3:00 it's murderous outside!? 
I get up irritably and round the couch to the front door. I yank it open, expecting a salesmen of some sort. I open my mouth, already armed with my line of "I'm not interested in anything you are selling" but I never get to use it. 
My mouth falls open a little as my eyes slowly scale up the figure now filling my doorway. Standing before me is a very big, very handsome,…dragon. He must be seven feet tall at least as he looms over me, I feel my throat go a little dry as I stand there dumbly. His luminescent blue scales shimmer in the Texas sun like a sparkling ocean of bumps and ridges. He breaks the awkward silence between us with a friendly smile. 
"Hi, my name is Flint, My truck broke down about a mile down the road, you were the first house I came to, and I can't seem to get a signal way out here. Do you mind if I bother you to use your phone?" He says gently. 
His voice is low and soft, not a hint of ill meaning in it. 
I stand with my hand on the door, what's the harm in letting the poor guy use the phone? 
I nod quickly and step aside to allow him entrance. He has to duck inside the door, mindful to not scrape his horns on the doorframe. I direct him to my hall phone, and explain how to use my ancient rotary style telephone. I leave him to his phone call and walk into my kitchen still a little dumbfounded. Never had I seen a more gorgeous dragon, and of all things he came knocking on my door! MY door! I hear the click of the phone and the heavy footsteps as he rounds the corner to join me in the kitchen. 
C'mon, c'mon, make conversation! 
"Would you like a glass of water?" I stutter awkwardly. 
He grins a big toothy dragon sized grin. 
"Yes please, it's a scorcher out there." He says gratefully.
I pour him some water into the biggest glass I own and he drinks it down thirstily. 
He hand's the empty glass back to me and smiles again.
"Thank you for being so kind, how can I ever thank you?" He says in that gruff, masculine voice. 
Without thinking, my eyes dart downward to the crotch of his jeans, and then back up to his face. Oh I can only wonder…what such a large dragon…might be packing. 
He grins wryly. 
"I can thank you that way, if you'd like." He says winking. 
I swallow hard and my words get caught in my throat. 
"I-i-i…um…sorry…I uh…didn't mean to…" I stutter frantically. 
He takes a step forward, closing the gap between us and puts a big claw against my lips shushing me. 
"Such a kind woman like yourself deserves to be thanked…the right way." He whispers, a cheeky smile spreading across his lips. 
I melt like butter at his touch. 
Oh dear lord do whatever you want with me you big hunk of sexy dragon ass!! 
"The shower will do nicely." He says grinning. 
I point wordlessly in the direction of the shower still in awe. 
Before I can say a word, he scoops me up into his arms, his paws cradling my rump as he whisks me in the direction of the shower. He lets me down on the bathroom floor and internally I am thanking myself for the decision I made to remodel the front bathroom and making it larger. I can't get my clothing off fast enough. T-shirt hits the floor, followed by shorts and then bra. I feel his large scaled palm slinking up my thigh, traveling up to the side of my torso. His paw is so massive it nearly completely covers my side. I swallow hard. 
"Slowly…let me take a look at you…" He whispers leaning down to nuzzle his massive snout against my neck. 
He makes me feel like a toy doll, tiny against his body. 
He lets a pleased little growl rumble up from his throat as he slips a claw underneath the string of my panties. With a small pop, he slits the string holding them together right in half. I can only moan in reply and lean into him, not caring about my murdered underwear, or that they were my new Victoria's Secrets. He brings his talented fingers up my body and comes to my pert breasts, teasing my nipples  under his finger pads, rotating each of them slowly until they are hard and needy. 
Finding my confidence I slowly run my hand down to the crotch of his jeans, he hisses as my fingers come in contact with his bulging need. 
I can feel my cheeks grow hot immediately. 
Holy shit…is ALL of that…his…
I feel him chuckle against me. 
He leans backward and as if to answer to my curiosity his hands drop to his pants. He unhitches his belt, and slowly unzips his fly. He grabs his jeans and hefts them down, letting his massive erection spring free of his clothing. 
A little gasp escapes my lips and he smiles wider. 
His member is about as thick around as my forearm..and he's pierced…
His proud cock stands away from his body, greeting me in all its beauty. The underside is lined with with ridged scales, and I blush as I notice that he is indeed..an intact dragon. 
Oh what a sight! 
He peels his shirt up over his head and kicks his jeans aside. 
Apparently dragon's like himself prefer free balling….
He lifts me again, carries me into the shower and closes the glass door. Without ever putting me down he turns on the water, the warmth flowing through my hair and over my body. 
I feel his lips push against mine, they are smooth compared to the rest of his horned body. I moan into him, begging for more of his attention. 
He grabs his throbbing cock and pushes his head against my opening. 
I arch up into him, as if to push him forward, begging for more. And he obeys. 
He pushes into me farther, stretching my walls with his girth. I can feel the slight sting as my body stretches to take him, I grip his shoulders and throw my head back. He lets my body adjust, and pushes in more. I can feel every ridge as he enters me, every small stud of his piercings, rubbing pleasingly against my sensitive insides. He continues like this for what seems like an eternity, until he is sheathed completely within me. I sigh against him, lost in utter ecstasy as he fills me. And then he begins to thrust, rolling his hips slowly into me. His scales pop in and out of me causing me to cry out in pleasure. His curved member pushes against my G-Spot, his massive girth allowing him to hit it every time. Over and over again. I'm moaning his name like a prayer, lost in seas of pleasure as he fucks me like his little dragoness. He grunts as he thrusts, low guttural growls that reverberate up through my body. I buck up against him, my climax building like wild fire. The feeling of glorious fullness sends me over the edge, my body clamps around him as I hit my peak. I moan loudly as I am lost in orgasm. Flint thrusts into me faster, and faster as he reaches his much needed finish. He gives a load roar that shakes the bathroom walls, and pulls himself from my body. He ejaculates onto my water slick body, his powerful cumshots covering my heaving breasts. His bursts of cum wane in power until his wilting erection droops against my pelvis, his angry head oozing cum onto me. I hang onto him weakly, completely spent and weary. He slowly opens his eyes to take me in, and smiles tiredly down at me. 
I feel like I have run a marathon and well…been fucked by a dragon! Flint helps me out and we dry and dress ourselves. He makes sure to give me an arm to lean on as I attempt to walk. He helps me to the kitchen and I sit down with a pleased sigh. 
He runs a paw through my hair and gives me another one of those toothy dragon grins. He writes his number for me on a slip of paper, and leaves me with one last heated kiss. 
"I better go now, the tow truck will be here soon." He sighs looking as if he does not want to leave. 
I smile at him and bite my lip. 
"Well maybe your truck needs to break down around these parts more often." I say slyly. 
He smiles in response. 
"I have this funny feeling that it just might." He growls.
The End
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I suppose its very obvious to tell that I am in love with this toy, even before I get to the review. I mean hell I wrote a story about it. I had a very welcome visitor come knocking on my door today! My Flint the Uncut Studded Dragon from Bad Dragon finally arrived!
This is a toy that I have been eyeing for quite some time, but when I first started toying he seemed a little too big for me. But now since I have worked my way up the size scale I finally felt ready to tackle Flint. Funny right as I finally decided to get him they came out with a mini sized Flint! haha I could have used that months and months ago, but despite that I decided to go ahead and order a size small Flint.
Shipping 10/10
I ordered Flint from Bad Dragon in a custom color and it only took about two weeks for him to arrive! This is a record time for a custom order from Bad Dragon! Especially since I ordered during a large sale that they were having. But along with the flop sale that they had going on they also had a special limited edition color called Atomic Kaiju Blue in honor of the new release of Godzilla. And hell I was all over that!!! I mean it was a blue that glowed in the dark! I needed it! Flint in my opinion is one of the most gorgeously sculpted toys that Bad Dragon offers. He is also very special because he is one of the only models that Bad Dragon sells that is uncut and sports an intact foreskin. This may be a turnoff of some, but I for one don't mind either way. Flint makes it look ever so good and may I say he rocks the uncut look. After the quick wait time for manufacture Flint was on his way to my house. He got delayed for a day due to FedEx being well…FedEx…but that wasn't Bad Dragon's fault. He arrived in the usual brown discreet box filled with purpled tissue paper and packing peanuts. This time however my Flint was packaged in a nifty little plastic bag that was black on one side and clear on the other sporting a red metallic Bad Dragon logo on the front! Never got one of those before, maybe due to the special sale! But I was very excited! Normally I rip plastic bags open like a rabid dog, but this time around I was very careful to keep it intact!

I ordered my Flint with these custom options:

Size: Small-Now when they say "small" this is really no small. It may not be very long, but he is thick! So make sure you read the sizing carefully before purchasing this bad boy! Here are the dimensions:

Dimensions (inches)	Mini	Small	Medium	Large	Extra Large
Diameter of Head	1.00	1.20	1.64	2.00	2.50
Diameter of Shaft	1.80	2.30	3.00	3.75	4.50
Usable Length	4.15	5.25	6.50	8.50	10.00
Circumference of Head	4.50	5.50	6.25	7.25	8.75
Circumference of Shaft	5.75	7.00	9.00	11.00	13.50
Total Length	5.50	7.00	8.75	11.00	13.25

Silicone firmness: Medium

Color: Limited edition Atomic Kaiju Blue-HE GLOWS BLUE IN THE DARK!!!!

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: No 

As always Bad Dragon has limitless options for you to choose from when ordering a custom toy. The color I chose is no longer available though. But never fear, Bad Dragon puts out all kinds of neat promotions from time to time such as limited edition colors, and sales! I always keep my eyes peeled for those. 

Now for the juicy part! The Review!

Oral usuage: 1000/1000!!!

lol my rating system isn't very formal. blah, some toys deserve ridiculously high ratings. This is one of them. 

Flint is by far one of the most detail toys that I own, from Bad Dragon or from any other company. Every inch of him has some new detail to be withheld. I started at his head, exploring his swollen glans, running my tongue along the slit at his tip. I circled my tongue around his foreskin and sucked his head into my mouth, savoring him slowly. Just his head alone is a wonderland of detail like I cannot explain. I moved down his length and started with his underside, exploring each and every pronounced ridge and I couldn't help but drool in anticipation as I thought about what those ridges would feel like inside me! I slid my tongue over his top side, feeling every one of his studded piercings beneath my flattened tongue. I shivered at the sensation. And finally I came to his balls, oh lovely heavens those balls!!! The toys I have been ordering lately have been without balls so this fellow was a site for sore eyes! They are so big, and round and perfect to pop in and out of my mouth. I'm sure he didn't mind me worshipping those balls of his. They are perfect!! For those out there that love balls on toys like I do, then this toy has exactly what you are looking for! 

Vaginal Usage: Holy shit I don't think number ratings do this toy justice. The highest rating possible, thats what it gets. Period. lol

I knew what I was getting into as soon as I ordered Flint. I knew he was a big boy, and I was ready for him. In preparing for him to arrive I practiced stretching myself with another of my toys, Ridley also from Bad Dragon, Ridley's knot is about 2.4"in diameter, and Flint is 2.3" so I figured this would get me ready. Once I was able to work myself up to knotting Ridley completely, all I could think, was bring on Flint. So when I got him, I couldn't wait to have him in me. I started slow with him. I am a huge fan of external stimulation with toys when I first start toying, so I started that way. I slowly rubbed his head against my clit, the details of his tip had me sighing for more. I then began to rub his shaft against me, feeling each ridge grab and please me as I did so. I laid back and let him work his magic. After a while of letting him tease me, I had to have him inside me. I needed that glorious feeling of fullness. I got into my favorite position for toying, kneeling of course. I prefer kneeling so I can bounce on the toy and it gives my legs a nice workout. I readied Flint, and slowly pushed his fat head into my body. His head went in easy, and then I hit the thickest part of his shaft and nearly fell over with the sensation. He was so, damn, thick! He stretched me pleasingly, that sweet, sweet twinge of pain as my body adjusted to him. As I pushed him in farther I could feel the pop of each and every ridge on his underside, one by one my body sucked them in, causing me to moan every time. I have never felt anything quite like it, and for the first time in a long time…words fail me. Now that is saying something, because as a girl that loves to talk 90 miles an hour, all day every day, not having words to describe something is a big damn deal. It was just that good. I simply sat there letting him slide into me, relishing the feeling, the slow pleasure already building up my orgasm. And finally, I felt his balls pressing against my body and I had fully hilted him. That accomplishment alone had me on a pleasure high. I gently began to grind him, and oh I was instantly in heaven. Not only is Flint curved in just the right way, but he is so thick that it is impossible to miss your G-Spot. With some of my toys they have the right curve for G-spot stimulation but its hit or miss when I start thrusting (yeah that gets a little wild). This is not the case with Flint. He's big, he's bad, and he's here to make you cum like you never have before. I'm pretty sure if I had close enough neighbors…they would have been able to hear me. I was moaning like my life depended on it! Flint was just the perfect fantasy! His studs massaged my walls as I continued to grind him, leaving me breathless and soaking. Normally by this point I would be reaching for my clitoral massager to finish me off, but this time I did not need it. I was already there. I came in a wave of pleasure, shivers running through me, my legs shaking like wet noodles. All I could do was simply sit there and ride it out, never wanting it to end. I had to wait a good 15 minutes before even attempting to pull Flint from my body, my orgasm was so intense, my muscles simply did not want to let him go. Pulling him out was nearly as good as pushing him in. Once again I got to feel every ridge as he exited me, sending post-orgasm shudders through me. I simply laid there on the shower floor heaving. If I hadn't had other things to do that day, I would have just laid there with him and not gotten out! After a good hour of recovery in the shower, and a bath for Flint I was pretty sure I could walk again! After a date with Flint it's best to stay home and not go into public. You may be walking like you've been riding a horse all day! 

Anal usage: N/A

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. So much nope. That big boy and all his lovely ridges can stay away from my bum thank you! lol 

Overall I am simply and utterly IN LOVE with this toy. If you have been debating about getting one the way I was, say screw it, get one. Trust me, you need Flint in your life. Everybody need's Flint in their life. He's a Dragon that simply will not do you wrong. My current go to toy, Cody now has close competition. I find myself at a cross roads when I go to toy now! I used to almost always grab for Cody and maybe throw in another toy, but now I have to decide…is it a Cody kind of day, or a Flint kind of fuck session? I could not be happier with this toy and in my opinion Flint is by far one of the best models offered by Bad Dragon. And like I said before if small Flint still seems a little large for you, spring for a Flint mini! He's Flint in a smaller package with all the same ridges and studs! So run on down and get yourself a big ol uncut dragon to play with! You won't regret it!
The Pros:
1. Amazing detail and texture
2. Uncut model may be pleasing to some
3. Thickness satisfies those who like bigger toys
4. For those who enjoy balls, he's got plenty
5. High quality silicone

The Cons:
1.Size may be too big for some
2. Texture could be "too much" for some
3. Uncut model may be displeasing to some

Go check out Bad Dragon and all of their lovely fantasy toys! 

Happy Toying!-Ashes

Primal Hardwere Splorch Review

Splorch

I posted unboxing pictures of this gorgeous toy the other day, and now that I have had a chance to try him out for myself, I can finally review him. Lets just start this off by saying this has to be one of the most unusual toys that I own. I am very much so into alien fetishes, egg laying included. Just another one of my weird fetishes that I love to embrace and nourish. Aliens have always been close to my heart, and closer to my nether regions. I have a soft spot for a good alien toy. While roaming around the inter webs, I stumbled across a small company called Primal Hardwere. They are another company dealing in the realms of fantasy toys. They have a few lovely looking were-able toys that I know I will have my hands on sooner or later, and then, they have the Splorch…an ovipositor dildo! The heavens opened up and sang, and I couldn't click that buy now button fast enough!! There is quite literally nothing like this anywhere else. So for those of you who are into alien play, I think you need to invite this baby to come home with you. Who knows maybe you could have an EGGcellent night! ok ok sorry I had to. Bad pun, but great toy, promise. The Splorch is a dildo that can have silicone, gelatin, or ice eggs inserted into it so it can "deposit" them wherever you like. But a warning to ladies, I said GELATIN not, JELLO. Jello has sugar and that is a huge no no for your Vag. Can you say yeast infection? If you use Jello, that is the road you are headed down. Eggs are inserted into the bottom through an opening, and can be squeezed up the shaft, and out through the top. Sounds intriguing, yes? 

shipping 10/10 

Shipping was quick and easy. I ordered my Splorch and it was in my hands in less than two weeks! Talk about quick for a custom toy! Lets give a round of applause to Primal Hardwere! My Splorch came shipped in a discreet brown box, and was packed neatly inside within a plastic package. The Splorch comes with a free egg mold and several nifty little business cards which was pretty sweet! Not as personal as Exotic Erotic's packaging but still good. Thats not the important part anyway! 

I ordered my Splorch with these custom options: 

Size: One size, here are the dimensions- 

total height: 10.5"

shaft length: 9.5"

diameter: 2" (without eggs in it)

shaft circumference: 6.5"

So to put it lightly the Splorch is not for the faint of heart, make no mistake this is a big toy! And notice the girth is 2" WITHOUT eggs, when you add eggs into the mix it becomes a whole other story! 
Silicone firmness: Comes in one firmness only which is fairly squishy to make it easy to squeeze eggs up the shaft, but it isn't too squishy to where it is not insertable 
Color: TorchFlame Blue- Primal Hardwere has a list of color options that you can choose for your new egg layer! 

Now lets skip on over to the review! 

Oral usage 10/10
As you know, no new toy can be correctly initiated into my family without a good tonguing. It's simply protocol that I do so! The Splorch was no exception. I cleaned the Splorch several times before use because it seemed to have a layer of baby powder like material on it, I wasn't really sure what that was but with a few washings it came right off! Whew! I explored the tip of the ovipositor first, running my tongue over its pincers, dipping my tongue down into the shaft. The fact that the Splorch is hollow opens up a whole new world of oral play, it is incredibly fun to slide your tongue in and out of both the entrance of the Splorch and the exit. The Splorch's shaft is mostly smooth except for a slight few very raised lovely veins running down it. It's base is surround by raised scales, and a sheath from which the shaft rises from. These are extremely lovely, you can tell that this toy was hand crafted and this for me is a good thing! Being an artist I highly respect that someone actually took the time to hand mold this toy! 

The Splorch is pretty girthy so getting all of it into my mouth to deep throat was a challenge since I have a very small mouth. But the filling sensation of it choking me was amazing! Then I could not help but to wonder…what if I made ice eggs? And…laid them in my mouth!? So I did just that. I popped the egg maker i received with my Splorch into the freezer and waited a few hours. Once mostly frozen I went to work. I decided the best place for play with this toy is by far the tub. This is a MESSY toy! This is not a toy that I would want to play with on my fine leather couch, no thanks! haha! 

So this was to be my first test with inserting the eggs. 

I was a little worried about this aspect of the toy. Before ordering a toy I normally try and read up on it. Unfortunately with the Splorch there are not to many reviews! The two or three I did find complained that the eggs were hard to insert therefore defeating the purpose of the toy. The insertion hole at the bottom was simply too small to fit an egg easily. This seriously worried me. And yet another review told the toy was too girthy for them so they had no review on actual insertion or the egg laying while inside one's body. This also worried me. But me being me, I figured I needed to know for myself. 

I am ECSTATIC to report that I had NONE of these problems. After some research on the reviews, all of which were pretty old, I am happy to report that Primal Hardwere has resolved the problem of the insertion hole for the eggs being too small. Before it was about the size of a penny, now it is bigger than a quarter.

I popped my frozen eggs out of the mold and put a tad bit of Bad Dragon's cumlube into the shaft of my Splorch. I didn't put too much because I was planning on putting these eggs in my mouth! Bad Dragon's cumlube doesn't exactly taste like an Oreo or anything. But in a tiny amount it doesn't bother me. I grabbed my first ice egg and gently pushed it into the bottom of the Splorch using my palm to push it until the toy sucked it in. No problems of having to force it in, or having it shoot back out across the room or anything. I pushed the egg slowly up through the shaft, watching the Splorch grow as the egg traveled up and that was enough to turn me on. The shaft swelled bigger and bigger as the egg came to the top and then suddenly…EGG LAUNCH! The egg popped out and flew across the tub. This Ovipositor does not deposit eggs slowly. No matter how slow you push them, they always come out like a little rocket launcher. This could be a problem for some, but I on the other hand went into a mad spree launching eggs as far as possible. I hand't even had it inside of me and I was already in love. I found that I can fit three eggs inside the Splorch, but add a fourth and one pops out, so it has a three egg max. The eggs are the size of normal chicken eggs, but after playing with the Splorch for a while the eggs began to melt and this had a totally new sensation. I would slowly push an egg up through the shaft and as they began to melt it would result in a nice dose of chilled water leaking from the tip just before the egg would deposit. This sensation was wonderful. Just before popping an egg into my mouth I would let the cold water run over my chest and down my torso. Temperature play is another of my favorite fetishes and this toy serviced that as well. Also if the chicken sized egg is too big for your mouth, just let the ice eggs melt a little and its much more enjoyable for those with a small mouth like me. This of course doesn't work with silicone eggs or gelatin eggs. So as far as oral goes this was one of the most exhilarating toys I have! And I give an A+ to the bigger hole for inserting eggs! So for any of you wondering how the toy works in that aspect its wonderful. It does exactly what it was designed to do. Though be careful when launching eggs during oral play, I nearly gave myself a black eye once or twice. 

Vaginal play 10/10 

So once I had my fill of egg launching I was ready for this alien to use me for it's willing host. I lubed the Splorch up, and attempted to insert him without eggs first, just to get a feel for him. Though the Splorch is made of very flimsy silicone, he is surprisingly pretty easy to insert. You do have to hold onto his base firmly to get him inside since he is very floppy there, but thats no big hurtle to get over. The Splorch's prongs give a very interesting sensation once inserted. They feel nice and flexible within me and when thrusting they move separately and press against different places which is a very nice detail. Though he is a girthy thing, I prefer larger toys so this was no big thing for me. So then I decided to insert some eggs. I started off with just one to get a feel for it. I reinserted the Splorch and slowly sank down upon him until i had taken about half his length, I didn't want to take too much of him so I could still have room for an egg. I slowly squeezed the egg up his shaft, but a warning for those who are not girth seekers, when inserting a chicken sized egg, the Splorch's size grow tremendously! This may be a problem for those who cannot take large girths. With eggs inserted I measured him at about a 2.5" girth roughly. But never fear, if you are using ice eggs, simply let them melt down to a smaller size and then its much easier to handle. But what a sight to behold! The alien's shaft growing, its bulge getting closer and closer to my body, ready to lay its offspring in my willing body. I bit my lip in anticipation. I slowly pulled the Splorch out little by little, forcing the egg to squeeze up gradually until the frozen egg slowly slid up out of the Splorch and lodged within me. When inserted the Splorch no longer launches eggs, it simply gently lays them within you with a small pop. Initially all I could think was "oh lord that is cold!" If you are not into temperature play I would not suggest ice eggs. They are very very cold, obviously. haha. But the intense feeling of the cold within me had me writhing in pleasure, that thin line between pleasure and pain from the biting, numbing chill. I clenched my muscles to keep the egg within my body, I wanted to feel it melt within me. I could only imagine a great alien leader smiling down at her little pet human, her egg successfully laid within my body. The chill of her offspring flowing through my body. As I held the egg inside of me, I inserted a second egg into the Splorch and proceeded to play with its egg laying qualities as I relished in the cold feeling of the egg still inside me. I could feel the cold water leaking from me as the egg began to melt, it was glorious! I then laid back and rubbed the shaft and pincers against the outside of my vagina and my clit. Within minutes of my alien queen pleasuring me I came to dripping, wet orgasm. I slumped down against the back of the tub and simply enjoyed the throws of my orgasm. Nothing can even come close to how wonderful this toy is. It's visual effect, its usage, just everything. I have never had more fun all around with any other toy! Though the Splorch is not exactly a "quickie" toy. He is more of the long toying session type. I spent nearly an hour and a half simply playing with him and enjoying him. This is a toy that deserves that long to be appreciated and enjoyed! 

Anal Usage: 

I have not tried the Splorch anally. Though since once again he has a large base, he is anal safe. That being said silicone eggs, and gelatin eggs are NOT safe for anal! Unless the silicone eggs have cords for retrieval. You can purchase silicone eggs with retrieval cords from a company called Frisky Beast. And even then I would be very very careful when using them for anal play. You don't want any eggs going missing in your backside. That would make for an awkward doctor's visit, and nobody wants that! Though ice eggs are perfectly safe, since they will eventually melt. I have also found that you can Freeze Bad Dragon's cumlube, so you can make some super awesome cumlube eggs that will melt within you for a slick, sticky experience. These eggs are safe for anal or vaginal play. 

10/10 for the Splorch in my opinion! I decided to start listing pros and cons on my review also since some may have a few issues with the Splorch. 

The pros:

1. There is literally nothing else like it on the market

2. Great for those with alien or egg laying fetishes

3. Customizable

4. Lots of ways to use it

The cons: 

1. Large girth isn't the greatest for inexperienced users and they do not offer a smaller size.

2. May be too out of the ordinary for some

But for those of you fellow alien lovers out there, this is the perfect toy for you. I love mine and he will for sure be getting plenty of use from me! Go check out Primal Hardwere and all their lovely fantasy toys! The queen alien wants you! 

Happy toying!-Ashes 

Splorch Unboxing

Seriously, nothing in the world makes me happier than knowing a beautiful new toy is on its way to my doorstep. I love the anticipation of waiting to get that pretty little box, carrying it inside not knowing what it may look like in person. The excitement building as you slowly cut the tape and pop the box open. The race of your heart as you empty out the packaging, and then the lovely moment when your hand first meets toy. Oh glory! Unboxing pictures of my newest addition to the family, my Splorch Ovipositor from Primal Hardwere. This is an alien fetish toy, and from the moment I saw it I was all over that, I mean alien!? Hello, yes please, and thank you! Custom ordered in a gorgeous torch flame blue color, came with a free jello egg maker and some nifty business cards. Small business packages are always the most fun, they always add neat things in there! Already put my eggs in to freeze for some lovely temperature play, and try this bad boy…girl…alien… out! Review on this is soon to follow, just could't resist posting how lovely it is! 

Exotic Erotics Cody Review

Cody

Man's best friend may be a dog, but I do believe a woman's best friend must be a horse. Or at least mine is! 

After purchasing my small Chance the Stallion Un-flared from Bad Dragon  I fell head over heels in love with equine shaped toys. I love my Chance, but he is just too tiny for this size princess. I decided I needed to upgrade. I flipped and flopped between getting a Chance Un-flared in a medium size, or Exotic Erotic's model Cody who was similar in size. After much debate I decided to try out Exotic Erotic's Cody! And now I have finally gotten around to reviewing this big bad stallion! 

What initially prompted me to choose cody over a medium chance is the overall look of Cody, I mean that texture!! Chance's head is very very smooth as well as his shaft. But Cody's head is bumpy and ridged and very very textured!! His medial ring is slightly more pronounced than Chance's and he seems to have more delicious wrinkles around his base, and veins up his shaft. Overall he just has more details. And so I skipped my happy little butt on over to Exotic Erotics and filled up my shopping cart! 

Exotic Erotics is one of the main manufacturers of fantasy toys as is Bad Dragon. But what Exotic Erotic's has that Bad Dragon does not, is actual live cast toys. Which means some of their toy models are cast from living, breathing, animals. Big turn on for some, huge turn off for others. As for me I just like to sit on the fence and say, it isn't a real animal. It's cast from one, its a hunk of silicone, not the real thing therefore I see nothing wrong with it. But to each their own, if that is not your thing, do not turn your nose up at Exotic Erotic's just yet. They also have their very own line of fantastic sculpted fantasy toys! Ever wanted to ride off on a well hung phoenix? Or maybe be jumped and roughed up by a horny raptor hungry for more than just a taste of you? Well has Exotic Erotic's got just the thing for you! Cody is actually from Exotic Erotic's sculpted fantasy toy category, not their live cast section. Though I am looking into getting a live cast Silver for my collection! But anyway, like Bad Dragon Exotic Erotic's has customization options that you can choose from with color, silicone firmness, size and suction cup options. Exotic Erotic's does not offer the cumtube option that Bad Dragon does, but this did not bother me much since I did not want a cumtube on the toy I was purchasing. 

I ordered my Cody with these options: 

Size: One size- Cody only comes in one size option. Here is his dimensions: 

Dimensions:

Total length: 10 inches
Usable length: 8.5 inches
Tip diameter: 1.70 inches
Tip circumference: 5.50 inches
Mid-shaft diameter: 1.30 inches
Mid shaft circumference: 4.50 inches
Medial ring diameter: 1.70 inches
Medial ring circumference: 5.75 inches
Base diameter: 2.0 inches
Base circumference: 6.50 inches

If these size dimensions are too large for you, Exotic Erotics does offer a Cody Mini! So you are in luck! 

Silicone Firmness: Medium-Exotic Erotic's silicone is slightly different than Bad Dragons. I found the medium to be perfect for me in is flexibility and stability! Their silicone is of amazing quality and I instantly fell in love with it. It is not very grabby, at least for me, it's very smooth and each toy is incredibly well made. I must break down and say that I am fonder of Exotic Erotic's silicone than I am Bad Dragon's! Which is really saying something as I am a loyal Bad Dragon customer! 

Coloration: I chose to get my Cody in Natural Markings, which is black with a stallion pink splotch. I already had Chance in a pink coloration with a dark spot, so I wanted the opposite on Cody. 

Suction Cup: Cody does not come with the option to add a suction cup, but honestly you do not need one! His base is huge and keeps him standing tall and proud! 

Shipping: As far as shipping goes, I seriously have to hand it to Exotic Erotics, or as we say in Texas, I tip my hat to them!! I ordered Cody and also ordered a Hippocampus on Monday, both were custom colors, and I had the two of them in my hands by that Saturday!!!! LESS than one week to make two custom toys, ship them out, and have them on my doorstep. To say I was impressed is a massive understatement! Holy smokes! 

Both my Cody and Hippocampus came in a discreet brown box all neat and tidy. When I opened up the box I was greeted with some lovely printed instructions on caring for my new toys such as proper ways to wash them, what lubes work best for them, how to store them and such, which is really neat because first time toy buyers often don't know the ropes of proper silicone care! This is very important for the new owner! I also received a small business card with a discount coupon for my next purchase! Talk about nice of them! Plus both my toys came with free, lemme say that again, FREE cloth storage bags. For me this is really neat, this is my preferred way to store toys is to sew my own cloth drawstring bags for each of my toys, since Exotic Erotics provides them that was two less bags I had to sew! (I am in no way the best sewer) This amount of customer service is super nice and makes me want to keep going back to Exotic Erotic's for more! The care put into their packaging makes it feel much more personal and loving. So two thumbs way way up to the folks at Exotic Erotics! 

Review: Ok ok now onto the juicy part! The good old fashioned rodeo that I call a review! 

When I took my Cody out of his cozy little cloth bag, it was very obvious that he was a huge upgrade from Chance, well in size at least! He was enormous in my hands! All I could think was, "Well this is a big pony!"

Oral Usage 10/10 

Oh how my tongue loves exploring a new toy! It has to be on my list of top things I love to do. After Cody was all cleaned up and dried off, I laid down on the couch with him and set to warming this pony up for a bucking good time. Cody's head has texture that is to DIE for. Much more detailed than the silky smooth head of Chance. I savored every wrinkle, every bump, the circular opening at his tip..oh I was in horsey heaven. 

And to top it all off, this boy is ballsy! Just what the doctor ordered! His base is a large set of squishy, delicious balls. One even hangs slightly lower than the other, while that is a tiny detail, I simply ADORE it on him! Those balls are a girls dream. Well, mine at least. I spent at least 30 minutes just licking and sucking his balls, getting to know him in all the right ways. Cody is a very long boy, and I found I could deep throat only a little over half of him before he simply got too wide for me. Curse my small mouth! But the experience was fantastic, the veins and medial ring on Cody just gives one that much more the explore and enjoy about him!! After my little warm up session with Cody, he had my nether regions aching for some rough horse play. 

Vaginal Usage: 1,000/10!!! 

After my oral session with my new pony, I gently began to slide him along the outside of my need, feeling his texture against my clit. Before long I could not handle it any longer, I retired to the shower taking my stallion with me. I only needed a couple of drops of lube, and slowly rubbed him down, slicking his gorgeous shaft. He was so proud and so ready for me! I kneeled and slowly sat down on Cody. His head is much wider than that of my small Chance's so it took a little bit of coaxing and wiggling…and then..POP! Cody's head popped into me causing me to cry out in an intoxicated moan. I have never in all my days felt anything like it. The initial pop of his head already had me climbing to orgasm. His blunt head supplies pressure to all my walls, pushing and rubbing against all the right places. With Cody's head snugly inside me, I began to push him in farther, and farther…and farther! It seemed like it would never end! I came upon his medial ring and was met with another wave of delicious sensations. Not as intense as the pop of his head, but just enough sensation to make a girl squirm and quiver! I was dripping wet and I hadn't even been riding this boy for five minutes! Finally I got to the widest part of his shaft nearest to his base and for a moment I just let him nestle inside of me, feel his massive length in my body. And then I couldn't help it, I needed to thrust. And oh, let me tell you, this boy was MADE to thrust. I bounced on him, thrusting him in and out of me with growing speed and roughness. It was like having a big proud stallion have his way with me, he had chosen his mare and now he was going to breed her as hard and as rough as he so chose. I could almost hear him whinnying and nipping my ear as he had me. Within moments of fierce thrusting with this big boy, I hit my peak. I gripped the tub to steady myself, my legs failing me, my orgasm came on strong. It left me shuddering and moaning. I sat there for a moment, relishing in the aftermath of my golden orgasm, just wanting to feel Cody in me for a little longer. After I had let myself come off my orgasm, and trusted my legs to not give out, I slipped Cody out of me. That was one pony that needed a really, really good bath. I have never had a toy stimulate me the way that Cody was able to. Normally I use a vibrator against my clit, along side penetration to get me to orgasm. With Cody, no vibrator needed folks! Cody instantly became my most favorite toy. Not one of the favorites, THE favorite. As in only one. For about two weeks after getting him I didn't so much as touch another of my toys. It was Cody or nothing. Sensing my other boys cries of jealousy I have again started using them, but Cody has my heart. Shh don't tell the others. 

Anal usage: 10/10

Because I loved Cody so much Vaginally, I decided I needed to try him out anally as well! My favorite boy did not disappoint! I am not a newbie to anal, so I had little problem with taking Cody. I started off by stretching myself with my favorite faux fur Wolf tail plug. After lounging around the house, proudly displaying my luscious tail, I figured this little wolf was ready for her stallion. Cody's head was a little more challenging to insert anally than he was vaginally. He kept bucking away from me, and I would have to re-tame him and coax him back to my opening. Finally after plenty and plenty of lube, and a lot of pushing, there was that POP that I ever so love!!! My body pretty much sucked him in after that. The thickest part near his base was a little much for me, so anally I only ventured about halfway down him, just enough to get that wonderful feeling of the medial ring. The feeling of having a stallion fill me in a different way is unexplainable. I rocked on him, slowly thrusting him in and out of me all while grinding on my favorite clitoral vibrator and  once again Cody had me pleading and begging for more. His massive base makes him wonderful for anal, so you can let him thrust away and never worry about him not coming back out! 

Overall Cody gets 1,000/10!!!! I cannot rave about this lovely toy enough!! His one and only setback is that he may be a little too big for novice users! But that's why there is a Cody mini! So everybody can enjoy this firecracker of a stallion! Exotic Erotics has really out done themselves with this toy! They are a great company and if you are a fellow equine toy lover, this boy needs to go home with you tonight. Trust me it won't just be a one night stand. 

The Pros: 

1. Larger version of a pony toy 

2. Sculpted not cast for those who do not like the idea of a live cast animal toy

3. Texture! 

4. BIG BALLS

The Cons:

1. May be too large in girth for some.

2. May be too long for some

So get on over to Exotic Erotics and check out their whole lineup of fantastic fantasy adult toys!! 

Happy Toying!-Ashes