Kelvin The Ice Dragon Review

Kelvin The Ice Dragon

So this is a special kind of review. In this review I will be reviewing not one, but two Bad Dragon toys! Mostly because I am too lazy to do two separate reviews for these toys. They are the same model, with minor differences, so I just lumped them together and decided to do a joint review. So today I have for you a review of Bad Dragon's wonderful Kelvin The Ice Dragon!! One medium packer model, and one small medium firmness, cumtube option model. These two kelvins were actually some of the first toys I ever ordered from Bad Dragon wayyyy back when. I actually picked these two "brothers" up from the same flop sale. Bad Dragon was having a flop inventory sale and I finally caved in and decided I needed some Bad Dragon toys to add to my then very small toy box. I like to think that is where this whole addiction of sex toy collecting was born. As a first time bad dragon buyer, picking which model I wanted to buy was the hardest part. I was immediately drawn to Kelvin. He had these amazing ridges and scales and a subtle knot that I just fell head over heels for. As soon as I saw him, I was sold. My first of my two Kelvin's that I picked up was my packer. The toy pictured on the left, without the cumtube. 

I have always had a thing for floppy dildos. There is just something about a nice limp, floppy penis that I cannot get enough of. I like to put floppy penises in my mouth, flop them around, squeeze them, fondle them, just all around love on them! So when I saw this Kelvin packer in a solid gorgeous red color I had to have him. Into the cart he went, and I continued shopping. While browsing along the adoptions page I stumbled not seconds later across an identical Kelvin toy, same color, except this one was in a medium firmness, and had a cumtube! He also went into my cart, and these boys were ready to come home with me. 

About my toys: 

The toy on the left was an adoption, he came with these features:

Size: Medium

Silicone Firmness: Extra Soft "packer" firmness

Color: Red

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: No

The toy on the right was also an adoption, he came with these features:

Size: Small

Silicone firmness: Medium

Color: Red

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: Yes

As always, review Bad Dragon's size charts VERY carefully before ordering a toy. Many of Bad Dragon's "smalls" are not very small at all. They can sometimes be quite monstrous. In Kelvin's case, the small should be perfect for beginners or those who are not made for bigger toys. He is a normal sized small. Here is Kelvin's size chart: 

Dimensions (inches)	Small	Medium	Large	Extra Large
Diameter of Head	1.40	1.60	2.00	2.40
Diameter of Shaft	1.20	1.40	1.80	2.00
Diameter of Knot	2.00	2.20	2.80	3.30
Usable Length	5.00	6.00	7.50	9.00
Circumference of Head	4.50	5.25	6.75	8.00
Circumference of Shaft	4.50	5.25	6.75	8.00
Circumference of Knot	6.00	7.00	9.00	10.50
Total Length	6.00	7.25	9.00	10.50

Shipping 10/10

Since both kelvins were purchased at the same time, they arrived in one neatly packed box together. Bad dragon's packaging was discreet as usual in their normal brown cardboard box, packed with a mountain of packing peanuts inside! And because these boys were ready made toys they were shipped out to me within three days of ordering, then arrived three days later on my front doorstep. 

Oral use: Kelvin Packer 10/10

The reason I bought my Kelvin packer is because I wanted him for oral use. Packers, or toys in extra soft are normally not good for insertion, and in my Kelvin's case I have never been able too insert him. He is simply TOO squishy. But that is ok, I purchased him knowing this fact. Now for those who don't understand the packer firmness I could see where this could be very disappointing to order a toy and not be able to insert it!! Packer firmness is VERY SOFT. Imagine a marshmallow. Its about like that. Try inserting a marshmallow into any hole other than your mouth…yeah, thats difficult. But that aside, my Kelvin packer was bought with the understanding of this. I just wanted a nice floppy dildo that I could slap all over, play with orally, and that my fiancé could use on me as a punishing spanking tool. Packer's make for great floggers. Just FYI. Bry highly enjoys slapping me with floppy Kelvin when I misbehave as he gets to play the roll of Dom. Normally I am Dom, but hey I let him play the roll sometimes. Gotta share right? can't hog the Dom position ALL the time. C'mon now that is just selfish. Orally Kelvin is wonderful, everything I imagined I'd be getting when I ordered him! He's so soft to swirl my tongue around and pop him in and out of my mouth. I love the way he feels on my tongue, and his shape makes him super easy to deep throat. His ridges are very nice stimulating my tongue, and his knot, mmmm it makes me drool just thinking about sucking that knot! 

Oral Use: Small Kelvin with Cumtube 8/10

Even though these two toys are the same model, they are very different. Such a small thing as size and silicone firmness completely changes a toy. My Small kelvin is a lot firmer than my packer kelvin, making his ridges much more intense orally, and a lot less squishy and wonderful. Kelvin's cumtube feature makes oral…a little awkward for me. That tube just gets everywhere when I'm trying to get into tonguing him down. He is much smaller than my kelvin packer, so I'm not able to get him as far down my throat as my packer, but he's still an enjoyable oral partner all the same! 

Vaginal Use: Kelvin Packer N/A

Because my Kelvin is indeed a packer, or female firmness toy, he is too soft for me to actually insert him. He is used for oral, and bondage situations only. I also enjoy putting him in a female harness and letting him flop around for some fantasy play. 

Vaginal Use: Small Kelvin with Cumtube 7/10

My small kelvin happens to be the very first Bad Dragon toy I ever purchased with a cumtube! So he was a completely new adventure for me. At first I was a little disappointed with it quite honestly. I couldn't really figure out how to get him to "shoot" cum, and not just ooze it out. This actually still eludes me with this toy. I have tried deluding the lube a little with water and that seems to help slightly, but still most often Kelvin just tends to ooze, and nor really shoot. Its really just become part of his personality and now that I have grown to love him, this doesn't really bother me. Kelvin is a great toy to use vaginally. As soon as I got him out of the box I had to try him out. Kelvin is a size small, and for Bad Dragon he is a pretty small, small. He's excellent for those who cannot handle larger toys, or beginners! If you want something with some radical scales and a nice subtle knot, but you aren't exactly a size queen, small kelvin is the toy for you! I really enjoyed the fact that I did not have to warm up to him like I have to do for some of my other, much larger toys. He's one of those toys that you just pull out, and ride away! There are a few factors that cause me to score the small kelvin the way I have. 1. He is a great size for beginners, and when I first obtained him he was a great size for me, but now I have moved up to prefer much, much larger toys, so Kelvin sort of falls short now to some of my other beastly toys. I suppose you could say I have out grown the little fella! Though i still sometimes grab for him when I want some easy, cumtube fun. Also I love the cumtube feature, but when really getting into it with such a small toy, the large cumtube can become…cumbersome. With some of my larger toys that have cumtubes this really isn't a problem, but I believe since Kelvin is so small, it gets in the way a lot more with him. But despite all that Kelvin is a great toy, he has a wonderful curve that hits the sweet spot just right, and his scales are perfect for a little texture, but nothing too intense! 

Anal Usage: Kelvin Packer N/A

Since Kelvin packer is too squishy for vaginal use, he's also too squishy for anal!! 

Anal Usage: Small Kelvin with Cumtube: 10/10

Now where Kelvin may have fallen short in the vaginal department with me, he certainly made up for it with anal! Kelvin's tiny size makes him perfect for me for anal toying! I may like big toys in my vagina, but I do not like them in my back door. I have an anus that simply refuses any sort of large toy. So Kelvin was a fantastic anal toy for me! His cumtube feature allowed me to pump in more lube where I needed it and since he has a nice base, he's totally anal safe. His not too pronounced ridges made for great anal thrusting, so this little fella certainly earned a spot in my heart with anal usage! 

Overall both of these toys are fantastic editions to my toy box! Bad Dragon always knows how to deliver simply the best in fantasy toys! I cannot brag on this company enough. The customizable options are simply unbeatable. If you have a hankering for a dragon, dog, monster, or horse skip on down to Bad Dragon and wrangle yourself a creature of your own! Go ahead, they don't bite…much. 

Happy toying!

-Ashes

Group shot!

It irks me to no extent that I have not had time to write many reviews lately. But I suppose that is what happens when you are a senior in college and planning a wedding all in the same breath. Oh life don't you understand that I have wonderful dong reviews to write?? 

So to fill the void between my reviews, I decided to group some of my toys together and take some nice beauty shots of them, because these boys sure do deserve it! 

I have collected a staggering number of new toys in the past couple of months, all of which will eventually have reviews up! Most of the toys photographed above do not yet have reviews because they are all new babes to the toy box! With the exception of Cole, he's an oldie who already has a review. But he's a goodie thus why I threw him into the photo! 

From left to right: 

Bad Dragon's The Royal Dragon: Size Medium/Medium firmness/ custom limited edition galaxy star color

Bad Dragon's Cole the Dane: Size medium/ medium firmness/ custom dark natural toy exclusive color

Frisky Beast's The Mechanical Animal The Classic 1.5: Size ONESIZE/ medium firmness/ custom tarnished color

Frisky Beast's The Tyrant: Size Small/ medium firmness/ custom slime color

Bad Dragon's The Waterhorse: size medium/ medium firmness/ custom natural coloration

Bad Dragon's The Dragon's Tongue: size small/ soft firmness/ adoption blue and red marble

Bad Dragon's Bruce The Shark: onesize/ medium firmness/ adoption black shafts, tan and purple marbled base

Frisky Beast's The Sauropod: size small/ medium firmness/ custom rainbow color

Bad Dragon's Nove the Breeder: size small/ medium firmness/ adoption rainbow marble

Exotic Erotics Hippocampus: size small/ medium firmness/ custom highlighter red shaft and black base 

Bad Dragon's Xar the Karabos: size small/ medium firmness/ adoption rogue purple shaft, black and red marble base

DamnAverage's Orc: onesize/ hard firmness/ adoption glow in the dark green and blue marble 

This picture can also be used as a good size comparison on some of my toys! Added many from different companies and such for that reason. These toys really range in size, and that is the most important thing to really research when purchasing a toy! Know your limits and preferences! 

Hope you enjoyed this colorful little bouquet of dongs!  

Ridley The Xenogon Review

Ridley The Xenogon 

Before I get down to the review, I wanted to share a little short story. I really like writing stories to go with some of my more favorite toys, this one is no exception. So sit back, relax, get some popcorn! Don't like stories, simply scroll down to the review kiddos! 

The moon was high in the midnight sky. It's pale glow eased down onto my body, lighting the thin trail in front of me. My shoes crunched the red dirt beneath them in a steady, smooth pace. The stars sparkled across the blue-black abyss like spilled salt. Twinkling and winking and playing in the darkness. My eyes soaked in the world at night. The trees reaching up into the night like small fingers.

It was the perfect night for stargazing. 

My pack swayed with my every movement as I climbed the lone hill. The hike was long, but the reward at the end was so worth it. I had been away from these hills for far too long. I was pleased to be back to visit. 

An owl cries out in the darkness, hollow and lonely, the sound kisses my ears like a swift whisper. Finally, after a long climb, I reach the top of the hill, a small clearing at its crown, breaking away from the thin trees and scrub brush. I plop my pack into the dirt with a small thunk and unzip it. I grab my thick blanket and shake it out into its fullness, lying it down onto the smooth earth. I sighed as my body relaxed from the rigorous hike. Now for my favorite part. 

I slipped my boots from my feet, carefully, slowly, one at a time. Kicking them off to the side of my blanket. I undid the catches of my shorts and drew down the zipper slowly. I sashayed them down over my hips, bending forward leisurely. Like a strip tease for the night. I tenderly kicked my shorts aside, standing alone in my thong and low-cut shirt. I grabbed the bottom hem of my tee and peeled it up over my head. It added to the growing pile of clothing. My undergarments slipped off like butter, coming away from my body daintily. 

Absent of all clothing I stood in the presence of the stars, free and wild. The world was big and I  was small, but that only added to my admiration for it. 

I sprawled out on the large blanket, body now feeling the breeze that was whispering through the trees, rustling their branches softly. My nipples pert with the chill in the wind. I sighed out lowly, breathing in the scent of the pines, the smell of the dirt…the smell of the earth. My eyes darted up to the stars, shining down on my small body, offering me their light from billions of miles away. It was such a vast, otherworldly place. It always conjured wonderings of life beyond the earth in which I existed. I wanted to believe that we were not the only ones here. There had to be something out there besides us. I chewed my lip thoughtfully and closed my eyes, but only for a moment. 

A moment turned into a minute, and a minutes turned into full on sleep. 

Suddenly theres a loud whirring sound. 

I'm shaken from sleep and snap into an upright position. My eyes fly open and I peer around me. Theres a ferocious wind whipping through the trees now, blowing them madly, and the world is bathed in a pale, bright, blue glow. Theres a haunting groaning sound reverberating through the wilderness. It's a sound I have never heard before. My pulse races, my heart thumps in my chest. What is this? What is happening? And then, just like that, it all stops. The world goes silent and the wind settles. My eyes flick around the clearing nervously. What in hells name could have caused all that!? 

Suddenly I hear the cracking of a branch to my left. My head snaps that direction, eyes wide and fearful. There is more rustling. Brush being parted by a large body. 

And then…it steps into the shadows. 

I draw in a sharp gasp as my eyes lay over its form. 

It's massive. 

At least ten feet at the shoulder. 

Eyes glisten from a face that resembles somewhat reptilian. They are blue and glowing like two coals in its head. 

My body freezes, too scared to run and too shocked to fight. 

"Do not be afraid earthling." Comes a definitely male voice.

I furrow my eyebrows together. 

Earthling? 

"Who…who are you?" I whisper shakily. 

He takes a step toward me. 

He sports large, clawed feet, thighs muscular, body ridged and toned with scales and muscle. 

"I am Ridley. I come from far away, I come to gather studies on earthlings like yourself." He muses robotically. 

I raise my eyebrows and relax a little. He doesn't seem to want to do me harm. 

The way he moves it fluent, graceful, gorgeous. 

He comes closer to me and his eyes flash with fascination. 

"What are you doing?" He asks slowly leaning down and running a claw over my shoulder. 

The touch is not menacing. 

It's…soothing. 

"Stargazing. Wondering if there could possibly be life out there…I suppose I have my answer now don't I?" I say smiling at him. 

He breaths out slowly, but doesn't return my smile. He is too transfixed with my body and my form. 

"You look…different than other earthlings I have observed…where is your…uniform?" He asks confused. 

I snicker. 

This guy needed to get out more.

"I took my clothes off. Thats how I star gaze. It's more relaxing that way." I whisper smoothly. 

I run a hand over his scaled arm and he flinches at the touch. 

I just smile at him.

"It is…it is most desirable. Seeing an earthling without…clothes." He utters hesitantly. 

I turn toward him slowly, eyes drawing up him and then back down. 

"You like what you see?" I whisper lowly. 

He nods slowly, as if not sure about the question. 

I look back down his body, he wears no clothes, nothing to hide him from other's eyes. I can see the outline of his large male anatomy in the dark. 

I grinned deviously. 

Maybe I wanted to really taste what other galaxies had to offer. 

I make a slow move toward him and his eyes are sparkling and curious. 

"You said you wanted to study earthlings. I know the best way to accomplish that, I can show you, if you would like." I whisper to him slyly. 

He meets my gaze.

"I wish to be taught…" He says his voice gruff and deep. 

I run my hand up over his massive cheek. 

I pull him in close, pushing out lips together harshly. 

He gasps at the motion and the sudden advancement, but he does not pull away. He eventually relaxes and returns the offering of affection. He does not know what to do, and so I show him. I part his lips and slip my tongue along his. He seems to understand and his longer, lither, tongue wraps around mine. He teases meanly with that tongue of his, its large and smooth and quick. He groans against me. It's a guttural sound more like a growl than anything else. It rumbles up through his chest and the vibrations coarse through me. 

I break the kiss breathlessly, ragged and already coming apart at the seams. 

I push him backward and he hits the blanket hard, large body taking up its entirety and hanging off the sides. His tight, alien abdomen is riddled with the muscles of another species. He is toned and molded by means I can only wonder about. Other galactic war? Space travels unknown. 

I run my hands over him. Exploring and touching and feeling. He sighs beneath me and his hot breath flows over me. It's thick and sweet and delicious. 

I'm on him like a bad habit. My hand runs down him slowly, taking my time to feel every inch, every ridge and every scale. 

My light fingers come to his male anatomy. His large shaft stands erect, coming forth from his sheath. I have never seen anything like it. It's just as alien as he is. I snake my fist around his girth. He's thin at the top, near his undefined head, but as I stroke downward I feel him widen out into a massive, swollen knot. Ridges and raised bumps line his sides. I am practically drooling at just the touch alone. I have to feel him inside me. 

No.

Need, to feel him inside of me. 

I retract my hand from pushing and pulling him and he watches enthralled with every movement. 

I lift my thin hips and his hands come to my waist. 

He looks at me with wonton eyes.

I am but an offering to a god of the stars. 

I lower myself upon him, hissing smally as he pushes in. He's hot, and big and wondrous. 

I let my body become used to him, sinking him in inch by inch, sliding over his knot with much effort. He groans lowly as I do so. Claws dig into my soft flesh just a little, the sting is not all unpleasant. I grit my teeth together harshly. 

And then…I begin to move. 

Rolling my hips forward, pushing him into me, starting a rhythmic glorious movement that has him moaning like a virgin. 

I can see all his teeth. 

They are white and they shine like pearls set in his jaws. 

My hands come to his chest, groping weakly, trying to find something, anything to hold onto. 

I fling my head back, bathed in the moon beams, mouth wide in a loud, shameless moan. 

He is snapping his hips up to meet my thrusts. 

Body against body.

He is so big. 

Just a massive creature of another world. 

His eyes screwed shut, breathing heavy and ragged. 

I'm thrusting faster, wanting more of him inside me, taking as much as my body can possibly handle. He's gripping tighter, breathing harder. He's clumsy and needy and handsy. 

He moans out loudly, it's more of a roar than a moan really. 

And then I'm there. 

Body coming undone, unraveling around me without my control.

I come in a wave of glorious pleasure, my muscles convulsing around him.

I'm howling like an animal.

Fingers digging into his stomach.

My body tightens and he's there too.

He thrusts up into me harshly, a guttural roar rumbling up through his teeth.

His voice echoes through the night like a freight train. 

I can feel his ejaculation inside of me. Coating me, filling me.

He thrusts into me weakly, pumping every last drop into my worn body. 

I collapse onto him, spent, unable to move another muscle. 

Before I can fight it, my eyes slide closed, and sleep takes me.

When I awaken, he is gone. 

Back into the stars from which he came. 

Alright! Now let's get down to the review kiddos! Have you ever wondered if there happened to be life out there in the stars? Well now here's your answer. There is, and he'd well endowed! Let me introduce you to an alien, that you seriously need to get to know, Ridley the Xenogon! As you all know I am a die hard Bad Dragon fan. Ever since really getting into Bad Dragon I had my eye on this handsome alien. I just couldn't get over how absolutely perfect he looked. His bumps, his ridges, his knot. Oh my. It just made it even better that he was an alien. I have a big soft spot for aliens. I mean lets talk about hot. I constantly stalk the bad dragon forums and website for sales and promotions, so when they announced a glorious Frankenpour sale I ran on over to bad dragon and filled up my cart! I just can't help but to get grabby hands when Bad Dragon has sales. And lucky for me they happened to have a gorgeous Ridley frakenpour!! He was perfect. It was love at first click. Without a second thought Ridley was mine and on my way to my house! 

Shipping of course was easy. I really love ordering ready made toys from Bad Dragon because they ship out so fast! I mean don't get me wrong, I love ordering custom toys also, but I simply adore adoptions. It's so exciting to bring fantastic colored toy home! Adoptions always have the prettiest colors. As do frakenpours. I love frankenpours. Some people are not too keen on them but I on the other hand LOVE them. No two frakenpours are alike. Each one is super unique and one of a kind and that just makes them so special. At least to me. So show those frakenpours some love! If you ever get the chance to take one home, do, you will love it. But anyway buying my Ridley was as easy as click, click and he was mine! He was shipped out in three days and was on my doorstep two days after being shipped! Came in the normal brown box, wrapped in purple tissue paper with about twenty thousand packing peanuts! 

Since my Ridley was an adoption I did not get to pick his colors! But here are the features that he came with. 

Size: Medium. I felt like the small Ridley was just a little too teenie for me therefore I opted for the medium size option. Here are the dimensions the Ridley: 

Dimensions (inches)	Small	Medium	Large	Extra Large
Diameter of Head	1.30	1.60	2.00	2.50
Diameter of Shaft	1.20	1.40	1.80	2.30
Diameter of Knot	2.00	2.40	3.00	3.75
Usable Length	5.75	7.00	8.50	10.50
Circumference of Head	4.00	4.75	6.00	7.25
Circumference of Shaft	4.00	4.75	6.00	7.25
Circumference of Knot	6.50	7.75	9.75	12.00
Total Length	7.00	8.50	10.25	12.50

Silicone Firmness: Medium

Color: Frakenpour 

Suction Cup: No

Cumtube: No 

Bad Dragon specializes in making your dong wishes come true! You can get any toy in any size, or color you'd like. And Bad Dragon is always adding new toys to their page. You can even vote for designs at the Bad Dragon labs! Or submit a design of your own! Bad Dragon is incredibly user friendly and dedicated to their customers! Not really ready to drop that much money on a toy? Check out their adoptions page. Bad Dragon keeps a healthy inventory of ready made toys! They label them as flops, ready mades, and frakenpours. Those are the types of toys that usually lurk in the adoptions page. Flops are toys that have a small flaw in them, say a nick in the toy, or an air bubble. I own several flops! Just because a toy has a miniscule air bubble that can hardly be seen doesn't mean it's any less awesome than a custom toy! Also flops are usually heavily discounted. Which is awesome! So if you are in the market for a bad dragon toy for less coin, go take a trip to their adoptions page. And also keep an eye out for Bad Dragon sales. I have found Bad Dragon loves holiday sales. So every holiday cruise on over to Bad Dragon and see what kinds of deals they have going on! 

Now for the fun part! 

When I opened Ridley's neatly packed box, I pulled him out and just couldn't get over how heavy he was! This boy was nice and big! I ripped that plastic open and ran my hands over him. He was glorious. I couldn't stop running my fingers over his small bumps down his shaft. The angle of his head, the shape of his knot. Oh I had to get to know this big boy from outset space. 

Oral usage 10/10 

Ridley is a very intricate toy. Which makes him all the better for oral stimulation! He has a lot of little ridges and bumps that are just so much fun to run your tongue over. His shaft is a great size to suck on and I very much enjoy the shape of his head. I couldn't get enough of him. His base has a wonderful almost mechanical detailing to it which just really screams alien! He was wonderful when used orally. Just licking him and tasting him has me reeling to get down on him!

Vaginal usage: Seriously I'm not even going to rate this with a number because that doesn't do him justice.

This toy, is amazing. I don't even care if you don't like toys, don't like aliens, don't like sex. You'd like this. I readied myself for a nice shower date with my new alien boy. I'd been lusting after Ridley for months, and finally with him in hand I couldn't have been more excited. 

I started by gently rubbing him over my clit, readying myself to take him. I didn't really warm up so I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to take his knot. I sank down onto his shaft and right away I was in heaven. The bumps on the sides of his shaft are incredibly prominent, but they don't grab or stab, they slide. They massaged me in literally all the right ways! The slight tilt and strange shape of Ridley's head is PERFECT for G-spot stimulation. Spot on stimulation. Like he can't miss. I began grinding on him and thrusting him into me. Ridley had me in a chokehold of pleasure. I was falling to pieces before I even knew what happened! I was aroused enough to take most of his knot first try without any warmup! Now that my friends is really saying something. This toy is amazing. As soon as I lowered down off my orgasm I knew that this baby had just earned his keep in my toy box. This alien doesn't kid around. 

Anal usage n/a

I have not used Ridley anally yet, but because of his base he is indeed anal safe kiddos! 

Overall evaluation: 

Ridley is a great toy. His design is perfect, and Bad Dragon really outdid themselves with this one. He's great for those who love knots and he's even great for those who don't! His shaft is long enough to be pleasurable without even touching the knot! 

I would recommend this toy to beginners and pros alike! To those who like textures and great details! So do yourself a big, big, BIG favor and go bring a Xenogon home today!! 

Pros:

1. Great texture

2. Amazing details

3. Made of silicone, making him body safe, non porous, and easy to clean! 

4. Perfect curve for a woman's G-Spot

5. Great for those who like knots and for those who don't. 

Con's:

1. My Ridley is a medium, this may be too large for some, but he comes in every size so I guess this really isn't a con!

2. Alien like, could be a turn off for some

Go check out Bad Dragon and all their wonderful customizable toys! 

Leaf Life Vibrator Review

Leaf Life Vibrator 

So up until this very moment this site has been mostly dedicated to dildos and insertable toys. What can I say I'm an insertable toy kind of girl. There just nothing like the feeling of being filled by a nice big toy eh? But though most my collection is dildos, every toy box needs to have a couple of handy vibrators present. No collection is complete without them!! 

Nothing finishes off a good toying session like a nice clitoral vibrator, which handily is what I have right here!

Are you sure that is a sex toy, you ask? Ashes have you gone crazy and just started picking leaves off the tree in your backyard, claiming them to be sex toys, you ask? 

Do not be fooled by the small and leafy nature of this little beauty, I might be crazy, but I know a sex toy when I see one.

Let me introduce you to the Life. 

The good life might I add. 

One of six very nature inspired vibrating stimulators from the Leaf collection put out by Swan. 

Life's other family members are:

Life Bloom

Life Fresh

Life Touch 

Life Vitality 

and the Life Spirit. 

Some of which I also want to add to my collection some day, but for now lets talk about Life. 

Everything about this little vibrator is eco-friendly. Right down to the box it came in, made from recycled cardboard. 

The Life comes in a small, reusable box with a magnet that keeps it snapped shut, I was very impressed with the simple, yet elegant and nature-like look of the box quite honestly. But that is the designer coming out in me. The Life also comes with a small instruction manuel, a charging cord, and a hand little carrying bag. 

To tell the honest truth this was my first clitoral vibrator. For years I was lazy and simply used one part of my rabbit vibrator as a "clitoral" stimulator. So buying this was very much an adventure for me. I had heard so many good things about this toy that I finally broke down and just had to have it. I chose the Life vibrator because I wanted something small, yet powerful, something I could take on trips and be able to store it discreetly. And best of all, this little beauty does not even look like a vibrator. When my fiancé first saw it on the bathroom shelf he thought it was decorative soap from afar. 

So lets see how this little leaf stands in my review!

The Review: 

When ordering toys from large companies it's always nice to have them at your doorstep in like two days. Since I am so used to ordering from companies like Bad Dragon, Exotic Erotics, Frisky Beast and Primal Hardwere, i forget how quickly it takes name brands to send their product. It took exactly two days until this little beauty was waiting on my doorstep for me. 

Taking a break from a long day of printing, I had to try this gorgeous little vibrator out. I grabbed my Ridley (Bad Dragon dildo) and set to work. Let me tell you this, I think it took me longer to actually open the box it came in than it did for me to orgasm using it. As soon as I sunk down on my toy and then put the tip of the Life to my clit, I was at a bone shaking orgasm in seconds!! I was left blown away by the sweet little leaf look a like toy. Lets just say that I was so impressed it called for a second round, and a third. I was hooked. And remain hooked to this day! 

The Pros: 

1.The Life has a large range of vibration speeds. You can change them by pressing and holding the same button used to turn it on. Press once to turn on, press once to turn off, press and hold to increase the speed of the vibrations. Extremely easy am I right?? 

2. The button also lights up, so I have found use in the dark is no problem. 

3. For those of you who love to go green, everything about this toy is eco friendly. Heck even its color is green! 

4. This vibrator is silicone coated which is a major plus. I do not buy any toys that are not silicone or glass! Silicone is the most body safe material out there, so you can do no wrong when you go silicone!

5. The toy is small, which means it can travel with you! Take it on trips with you, be unafraid to pack it in your luggage in it's handy little bag it comes with! I do all the time! 

6. The Life is rechargeable. Just plug in it's little cord, let it sit for an hour and BAM it's ready to go again! 

7. The Life is great for clitoral stimulation, it's narrow tip is great for on the spot vibrations while its wider area is great for supplying vibrations all over the outside of the vagina. 

The cons:

NONE!!!! I cannot express how much I love this toy, I adore it more and more with every use. For all of you avid toyers and a matures out there alike this is a great toy. Its fantastic for beginners that are not ready for insertable toys yet, and its a great addition to those who love an invertible toy and a vibrator combination like myself! And even on its own this toy really packs the pleasure. Sometimes I get the hankering to just use it and it alone! I cannot explain how much use I get out of this toy and it has held up tremendously well. Trust me everybody needs a little Life….in their life!! 

Happy Toying! 

-Ashes

Bad Dragon's Cole The Dane Review

ColeTheDane

Story time!! Don't like stories, skip to the review, like stories come on in! Sit down, relax, grab some popcorn. 

"I take a long swig from my tall glass of sweet iced tea. The ice cubes clink together as I do so, the glass sweats against my fingers as I grasp it loosely. The day is a scorcher, the murderous Texas heat is bearing down with all its force and vengeance. It's cool in here though, in my little paradise where I can escape from the fierce heat. I sit comfortably on the cushioned bench butted up against the window, giving me the perfect view into the back yard. I take another drink of my tea. There is nothing like escaping from the heat, relaxing, relishing in the lovely view of my backyard. It's a lovely yard, garnished with large oaks, green grass, a gorgeous in ground pool, it is quite the designer yard. But none of that is what captures my attention now. By far the most gorgeous asset in my yard now…is the hired help. A sly little grin spreads across my lips. He's tall, so very deliciously tall…but then again this is not unusual…for a dane. I watch him with captivated eyes as he leans down to heft another armful of boards up onto his shoulder, and carries them to the next section of fencing. After many complaints from my prude neighbors I finally made the decision to put up a proper privacy fence. It becomes a little difficult to enjoy a nice skinny dip in my own pool when the neighbors prying eyes are constantly upon me. They complained about the company I tended to keep, and my nudist behaviors. And since I was not willing to give up my midnight sexual romps, I opted for option two. Build a fence. I called the facing company, and they got right on building me a grade A privacy fence. But little did I know, that apparently fencing companies are now in the business of hiring male models as there employees. My eyes follow him as he lifts the drill to secure yet another board perfectly in place. His mostly white fur, freckled with black splotches shines in the summer sun, healthy and gorgeous. His body is riddled with lean, hard, muscles formed by nothing but pure hard labor. Shivers run down my body as I observe him like a hawk does her prey. His muscles glisten with sweat, his long cropped ears standing proud atop his massive head. He abandoned his shirt fairly early into the fence building task, and the moment clung to me like a dirty deed. Watching that beautiful male strip his shirt slowly up over his head, exposing every inch of his torso, then discarding the unneeded clothing in a small heap next to his toolbox. From that moment on I could not drag myself away from that window. I felt like a little school girl, spying on her crush. I brought my glass to my lips slowly, feeling its coolness against my lips. 

If only I had something…else…against my lips right now. I think to myself wryly. 

I plunk my empty glass of tea down. Thats it. I cannot stand a minute more of this. I simply must have a taste of that great, big, canine and I must have it now! I march back to the bedroom, shedding clothing left and right as I do so. I rummage through my drawers and successfully pull out the skimpiest bikini that I own. I hike the thin material up over my rump and stuff my breasts into the top. I sashay to the kitchen and grab the pitcher of sweet tea from its clutches, and I pour fresh tea into the tallest glass I own. I grin to myself as I head toward the back door. I had all the firepower I needed to bring even the strongest of males to their knees. I flung the back door open and proceeded to strut my way across the yard, confidence dripping from my being. As if sensing my presence he flicks an ear in my direction and then slowly looks over his shoulder. I could see his entire body stop dead as he got an eyeful of me. I flashed a big, devious smile in his direction. 

"Oh hello there again…Cole? Am I right?" I say sweetly as I approach him. 

He swallows hard and nods slowly. 

"Um…y-yes ma'am." He stutters. 

"Well I just thought you might use a tall glass of southern sweet tea. Made it myself! You look mighty tired, and it's mighty hot out here! A big boy like yourself needs to keep nice and hydrated sweetie!" I say offering him the glass. 

He gives me a small smile and slowly takes the drink from me. His paw tenderly touches mine. His massive paws are like furred baseball gloves, they dwarf my own. My eyes flick up to his, catching his eyes wandering over my chest. He avoids my eyes quickly and takes a long drink of his tea. 

"You like?" I whisper, the words dripping off my tongue like syrup. 

He just nods dumbly and swallows. 

I smile deviously. 

"Oh well don't mind me, I'm just going to take a little dip in the pool!" I call over my shoulder as I make my way to the poolside, my hips swaying back and forth like a ship at sea. And he is but a helpless man caught by the sirens gaze. I slowly descend into the pools waters, the clear liquid rippling at my intrusion. The cool water overcomes me and I let out a small murmur of pleasure, making sure it's just loud enough for Cole to hear. I sneak a peak back over my shoulder. He is standing there, tea in one hand and drill in the other, helplessly lost in the battle over good and evil. It is against protocol for him to engage in…sexual acts with a customer…but then again who would find out? It was just me…and him. 

I dive underneath the water and come back up, running my hands through my wet hair, water dripping off my body in sheets. Cole turns around quickly and attempts to get back to work. I lean on the side of the pool on my elbows and smile. 

Oh no, you won't get off that easily big boy. I think slyly. 

I stand up slowly and send a glance over at the dane. He is sneaking little peaks over his shoulder, trying to be discreet but oh he is such an innocent little thing and discretion is not one of his strong points. I reach my hand backward to where my skimpy bathing suit ties and gently pop the string letting it come loose, my breasts rolling out to greet the wandering eyes of my little plaything. Cole fumbles and drops the box of screws into the dirt. His eyes are the size of dinner plates. 

I lean on the poolside again letting my naked breasts rest on the edge. I give him a wicked grin. 

"So what's it going to take to get you to stop screwing with the fence…and come screw me instead?" I say to him wryly my voice as thick and seductive as honey. 

It doesn't take him but a split second and he chunks the drill onto the ground and is practically sprinting over toward me. 

"The pants, take them off." I command motioning with my finger. 

He obeys willingly. He fumbles to get his zipper undone and rips it downward. He hefts his hole ridden, faded jeans down over his pert ass and kicks them off. He is sporting a gorgeous pair of red boxer briefs, and lord they hug him in all the right places. He makes a motion to get into the pool, but I stop him.

"The boxers. Loose those too." I purr smiling. 

He quickly removes them too and adds them to the growing pile of clothing on the cement. I smile viciously. Even his balls are black and white spotted. I motion for him to sit on the poolside. I just had to get a taste of him. He obeys. I slowly swim up to him and settle myself between his knees. I bury my nose in his strong, sweaty balls, lost in his musky scent I breathe in deeply. I run my tongue up his pair, then suck one into my mouth, massaging the over with my palm. He groans deeply, a low, guttural rumble that reverberates up through his body. I can already see the tip of his penis coming forth from his sheath. I suck harder, switching over to his other teste. His back arches a little as his erection grows and swells. His enormous cock stands on end now, vibrant and red his thick shaft slowly swelling at his delicious knot. I run my tongue up his balls and travel upward to his shaft. I suck the side of his knot, my other hand coming to stroke his length as I do so. He bucks in pleasure, pushing into my palm, wanting more of my touch. Oh the young ones are such trigger happy fellows. I know if I want him to last, I'll have to stop my teasing and get to the point. I pull away slowly and he whines in protest. I beckon him into the pool, then slowly hitch my thumbs beneath the strings of my bikini bottom and slip it off. I throw aside, and instantly he's joined me in the water. I close the gap between us and practically pounce on him. I press my lips hard into his and his massive arms come encircle me, pulling me closer to him. I wrap my fingers around his neck, one stroking his pointed ear, feeling it's softness beneath my finger pads. His tongue invades my mouth coming to toy with mine and I moan against him. I break our kiss, a little string of saliva still connecting us. He's panting hard, his even more swollen member pressing against my stomach. I grab his hand and pull him to the side of the pool. I lean on the poolside, presenting him with my luscious rump. What better way to do this than…doggy style? I giggle to myself. 

He presses himself up against my rear, his shaft rubbing in-between my thighs, sliding against my hot mound. I moan lowly as he does so, giving him the go ahead to proceed. He grabs each of my ass cheeks in his massive paws and squeezes hard, indulging in the pleasures my body has to offer. Then suddenly he grabs his shaft and presses his pointed tip against my opening. I moan out breathlessly as his shaft slides into me. He is deliciously thick. Some canines certainly lack in girth when it comes to their shaft, but oh not this dane. He stretches me as he pushes in farther and my eyes flutter closed. I can feel his knot press against my entrance and his shaft is fully sheathed inside me. Without wasting a second he begins to thrust into me. He fucks me hard and fast, my ass bouncing against him as he does so. His paws come around to my waist gripping me tightly, bringing me back into every thrust. His tongue lolls out of his mouth as he fucks me, small groans of pleasure leaking from his throat. I moan loudly as he pushes into me over and over, his pace quickening. I yell out his name, my fingers gripping the poolside harshly. The water splashes around us with all the movement, creating quite the fuss. But for the moment I forget my prude neighbors and the fact that they have most likely already heard me screaming. I also ignore that its the middle of the afternoon and were in plain site, and my fence is clearly not done since I have occupied the only one working on it. But none of that matters now, all that matters is the delicious orgasm now building between my thighs. Then suddenly I feel him pushing against me harder, the beginning of his knot begging for entrance. I grit my teeth as he pushes, feeling the sting of the stretch rush through me. Then suddenly with a pop he knots me. I cry out in utter ecstasy the feeling of his massive knot finally forcing into my body is enough to send me spiraling over the edge. I come to my finish in a wave of pleasure. I moan out loudly, my thighs shaking wildly as it overcomes me. My walls squeeze around his massive erection. I can hear him moaning louder and louder, his grip on me tightens as his knot swells to it's largest point. The feeling of my orgasm is enough to drive him to his own much needed finish. He gives one final push into me, unable to really move much with his knot settled tight within me and finally he hits his peak. He cries out loudly, his fingers digging into me and releases his hot finish deep inside my core. His powerful cumshots coat my walls and fill me with warmth. I mewl lowly as I feel him shoot his load into me. He pumps himself into me, emptying every drop into my hot insides. His tongue hangs out the side of his mouth and he slacks against me, his eyes lulled into small slits. I rest against the pool side as he leans down to leave a little trail of kisses up my back and over my neck. The best part of sex with a canine is the delicious post sex attention they always give. His knot is too swollen to pull out, so he might as well swoon over my body some more. He nuzzles into my hair, his breath hot against my neck and I sigh weakly. 

I smile fiercely and look back at the big dog behind me. 

"What do you say to another round big boy?" I say slyly.

His ears perk up and he smiles shyly. 

"Ma'm I don't believe your fence will ever get done that way…" He says chuckling. 

"The longer it takes you to build my fence…the longer I get to ogle at you while you do so." I say grinning. 

"Well the customer is always right ma'am. Round two it is." He says smiling. 

The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So now lets get down to the review!!! One day while organizing and cleaning all my toys…I realized that my toy box was missing something. I have alien dildos, dragon dildos, horse dildos, zombie dildos, frankenstein dildos, heck i even have an otter dildo….but no canines. None, zip, zilch. This was a problem. I needed a canine dildo in my life pronto. So I headed on over to Bad Dragon and started researching. I even ended up ordering a chico the little squirt so I could get a look at the canine form in person. Having fallen in love with my chico, I then decided that I needed a big canine boy in my life. So then i was left with two options, Razor the Doberman, or Cole the Dane. To me Razor's shaft simply looked a little too thin, unless I ordered a large and then his knot in a size large was cray big even for me! But Cole on the other hand had a delicious chunky shaft and a size knot that I felt I could eventually handle. My decision was made.

Ordering and shipping were easy as always. Ordered and he was in my hands in two weeks, he came in a discreet brown box packed with peanuts and purple wrapping paper. I also again got a fancy Bad Dragon bag! Here have a butt ton of unboxing pictures. I was very very excited to open this puppy up and get a good look at my new canine! 

I decided to custom order my Cole the Dane because I knew I wanted a suction cup. I ordered my Cole with these custom options: 

Size: Medium- Now this is a big ol boy. From shaft the knot he is not lacking in any area! I ordered  my Cole in medium because I like a little size to my toys. For anybody new to toying, or anybody who tight I would suggest a small, not a medium! And even the small's knot can be a little much. Here are the dimensions:

Dimensions (inches)	Small	Medium	Large	Extra Large
Diameter of Knot	2.25	2.85	3.50	4.85
Circumference of Knot	6.50	8.25	10.10	14.25
Circumference of Shaft	4.80	6.10	7.30	10.50
Circumference of Head	4.25	5.25	6.25	9.00
Diameter of Shaft	1.55	1.95	2.45	3.30
Diameter of Head	1.30	1.65	2.10	2.95
Usable Length	6.00	7.30	8.75	11.25
Total Length	7.25	9.00	10.75	12.65

Silicone firmness: Medium 

Color: Dark natural toy exclusive coloration 

Suction cup: Yes

Cumtube: No 

Bad Dragon is a company that has mastered the art of customizable toys. You can pretty much get any color, size, of firmness that your little heart desires! I highly recommend that if you are considering ordering a Cole The Dane of your own, get him with a suction cup. He has a thin base and a very heavy shaft to this suction cup really helps to keep the big boy in place. Also it is really fun to stick him to the shower wall for some excellent playtime! 

Now to the fun part! 

As soon as I pulled this big bad dog out of the box, I knew we were going to have a swell time. My first reaction was literally holy hell that knot! I was pretty certain that it was going to take a lot of effort to even think about knotting this pup. Cole's appearance is just gorgeous. I love love love the marbled sheath. Since I'm imaginative, I instantly began fantasizing about a big spotted anthro great dane and I was in love. The dark red color is very pleasing to me and really screams canine! I think any red on a canine toy really just makes it that much better. But for some, it may be a little too realistic. If so, order a crazy color! Once he was in my hands I could not stop touching on him and squeezing his knot, imagining how good it was going to feel when I could finally knot him. So I whisked him away for a trial run, I just had to get this big boy inside of me! 

Oral Usage: 10/10

The best part about playing with a toy with a suction cup is being able to literally stick it to any flat surface! I immediately used this to my advantage. I grabbed my Cole and also grabbed my Flint and retired to the shower. After turning on the water I lost myself in fantasies of a big bad Dane and a big bad Dragon fixing to have a three way with me. I stuck Cole to the shower wall and lubed up Flint. While I sunk down on Flint I busied my other end with pleasing my new dane. His shaft is incredibly smooth with only a few tiny veins for detail. His tip is by far my favorite part, I am in love with the tapered shape and the slit is perfect to run my tongue along and explore. I was able to take cole orally up until his knot and that was my limit! His knot is something to be reckoned with. I turned my head to the side and sucked on his knot sideways and gahhh words could not express how much this turned me on. I ran my tongue down to his base and explored the wrinkles of his sheath. Cole does not have testicles, but then again not many canine toys do…why that is I am not sure. Seems like it would be pretty sexy to me to have a canine with balls! Maybe I shall stumble across one eventually, but that is besides the point. I sucked cole's length, making sure to explore every inch of him. Pleasure him the was any good dog would want to be pleasured. The combination of bouncing on Flint as I gave Cole oral was almost too much for me! I found myself at the brink of orgasm just from that alone! Being caught in the middle of the sexiest threesome I could imagine had me soaking wet! I knew then that it was Cole's turn to have a go at me. 

Vaginal usage: Cole gets a rating of "The heavens opened up and angels sang and I saw stars and there was an epic guitar solo in the background" or just 10/10 haha 

I suctioned Cole to the shower floor and lubed him up well. 

I quickly found it was a very good idea to warm up with Flint first, because even Cole's shaft is pretty thick. His pointed tip slipped in easy, and his swollen length quickly followed. I sighed and cooed as he slid into me, his silky smooth shaft stretching me and filling me. Cole's shaft is perfect for thrusting! Since it is so smooth I really had a good time thrusting Cole into me as fast as possible. I was lost in utter pleasure as this canine made me his property. I pushed down on Cole more, until I met with his massive knot. The challenge flamed in my eyes. I was going to knot this boy. I needed to feel that swollen knot inside me. Wanted to feel that glorious pop as it entered. I was practically drooling at the thought. I added a little more lube and slowly, very slowly lowered myself down onto his not. I felt the string as I began to stretch to take him. The very beginning of his knot began to beg for entrance. I let myself adjust to that thickness, then pressed farther. Once I felt the sting again I allowed him to sit within me for a while. I proceeded with this action for a good hour, just enjoying feeling him fill me, and using Flint for oral stimulation. After stretching myself well enough I pushed a little harder when suddenly POP! His knot was sucked into my body. I nearly doubled over with the sensation. It was beyond anything that I had ever experienced. I have never had that kind of stretch before. At first I almost felt like it was too much and I should get him out as soon as possible! But my determination threw that thought right out the window. I sat there for a while, letting his massive knot fill me, letting my body adjust to the intensity and finally the paint began to wane into a strange tingling feeling of utter pleasure. The stinging feeling of being stretched so far was delicious and the utter pride in the fact that I had knotted this beast overtook me. I was lost in pleasure. After teasing myself for such a long period of time, I was beyond needy. Once Cole had knotted me, he wasn't going anywhere, so thrusting was by far out of the picture. Just sitting on him was enough for me. Just letting that feeling of being filled overwhelm me had me so close my body was shivering. I broke out my clitoral vibrator and gently pressed it against my clit. Within seconds I had fallen into a deep, mind blowing, thigh shaking, total body orgasm. The intensity of it had me involuntarily crying out, moaning like my life depended upon it. I could feel my body hugging Cole, squeezing around his knot, not wanting to let him go. All I could do was sit there in the wake of my orgasm and ride it out. Finally after just sitting there panting for a good ten minutes I decided to attempt to pull Cole out. The pop coming out was just as intense as the pop going in, I gasped as I felt the knot leave my body, the stretched feeling leaving me. I pulled his shaft from me and simply laid back on the shower floor. I was so tired that was about all I could do! So my boys and I just relaxed in the shower recovering from the whole ordeal for a while. Though that delicious stretch comes with a price to pay. I was certainly walking funny the day afterward, and Bry had to settle for anal for the next couple of days (Not that he complained haha) Cole is by far the largest toy that I have taken vaginally to date! I feel like I should get a sticker, or an award…or something. I mean hey a 2.8 diameter knot is nothing to play around with! Knotting cole is a big feat, and most the time I do not knot him. But his shaft is so thick and delicious that doesn't even matter. I love the feeling of the base of his knot pressing against me while I thrust his shaft into me. Cole is a great go to toy, and has earned his place in my ring of favorites. What are my favorites you ask? Here is the list of my personal favorites, some have been reviewed here some do not yet have a written review. It is hard to review toys, I start writing my review then I get excited and go actually use the toy instead. But anyway, here you go, my top list! 

Frankenstein-Fleshlight Freaks

Flint the Uncut Studded Dragon-Bad Dragon

Cody-Exotic Erotics

Nox the Night Drake-Bad Dragon

Cole the Dane-Bad Dragon

Ridley the Xenogon-Bad Dragon

Nova the Breeder-Bad Dragon 

Anal usage: N/A

If I wasn't brave enough to try Flint anally, I damn sure am not brave enough to try Cole. But for those of you major size queens out there you will love Cole! Since he has a big base he is total safe of anal use! 

Overall I LOVE my Cole. I cannot stress enough how much I love this toy. Even just looking at him get's me all hot and bothered. Cole is my first canine toy but he certainly will not be my last! So if you have been looking for something different to add to you toy box, you need a Dane. Everybody need's to experience the joy of being knotted. Are dogs not your thing? Well head on over to Bad Dragon, they also have plenty of knotted dragons and aliens to try out! Here are the pros and cons of this bad boy! 

Pros:

1. High quality silicone

2. Easy to clean

3. totally customizable 

4. the knot adds an intensity that is unmatched! 

5. also has good sized shaft for thrusting as well as knotting

Con's: 

1. The knot may be too big for some. 

2. The canine appearance may be a turnoff 

I certainly cannot get enough of my big bad dane. Go ahead go grab one for yourself! Just talking about him gets me all hot and bothered. Please excuse me I think I have a date with Cole that needs attending! Go check out Cole The Dane and all of Bad Dragons sexy lineup! 

Happy Toying! -Ashes